The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell

He really has an ugly face. He is certainly ugly. But, you know what, that's not really what bothers me about this. What bothers me is that he looks like an old woman.

Charlie:I mean, look at Ronald Reagan, right?

Charlie:we got to suffer just because some old dude who looks like Meryl Streep chopped down a cherry tree, like, ten million years ago?

Mac:Well, that proves our point, man. We're not the first people to try and take that thing down.

Mac:they can come by, suck up some history, do some shots, get blasted.

Charlie:Well, the year was 1412... No. Really?

Mac:Let Dennis, let Dennis...

Dennis:I do not give a shit, Deandra. Now, get me a flagon of ale.

Dee:Get your own ale, dick.

Dennis:You are my slave.

Dennis:I saved you from being burned at the stake for being a witch.

Dee:You're the one who accused me of being a witch in the first place, Dennis.

Mac:You know that chick I've been banging down at Independence Hall?

Dennis:Mm, the fat one.

Mac:She's not that fat.

Charlie:Yeah, she's pretty fat, dude.

Dennis:We have to make our own declaration.

Mac:Yes.

Dennis:Yes, we need to make a declaration of dependence.

Charlie:Merrily I be able to guide you toward some interest in some purchase.

Mac:We're not traders, Charlie. We're thieves. You want his pumpkins, we kill him and take his pumpkins. This is 1776. We'll get away with it!

Customer:I can hear you.

Charlie:What?

Mac:He stole our furs!

Charlie:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mac:You shit head.

Dennis:I'm dressed like a nobleman, okay? These people respond to royalty.

Cricket:This appears to be a rendering of... the two of you sodomizing the king whilst the queen is forced to witness.

Mac:No, look. I'm holding homeboy's arms back. Dennis is ready to jam him in the face, and the queen is impressed.

Mac:We're going to tar and feather the shit out of her when she gets back.

Cricket:you are both slanderous perverts lacking any semblance of moral fortitude. However, I do desire to seek further counsel with the lady.

Mac:Bro, it's 1776. They don't have any rights. You can just take them and force them to do whatever you want.

Charlie:Do not shoot that pumpkin! What are you doing?

Mac:I stole a bunch of guns! I'm testing them out, Charles!

Charlie:The pumpkin's innocent!

Dee:You know what, okay, you guys. I tell you what, you win. I'm a witch, okay? I'm a witch! And I curse both of you and all of your stupid guns.

Charlie:She cursed the gun! She put a curse on the gun! Let's try this one. Nothing!

Dennis:Oh, I got some wooden teeth put in. Yeah. Well, all the patriots are doing it, including Washington, which is why it makes sense, okay, if we're going undercover!

Dennis:I mean, taxation with representation, right?

Mac:Hey, fellas, who's taking the minutes here? 'Cause I feel like I could be an asset to you as a secretary, and-- Let's start by taking down all of their names. First and last, please.

Charlie:you'd think people who came here so many years before the English, that they'd build bigger houses!

Mac:Yeah. You'd think they'd have huge homes.

Native American:I speak English.

Charlie:Oh, shit! For real?

Native American:You want me to scalp them?

Mac:Give me that skunk pelt. I'll use it for hair.

Dee:Oh! Yep. Yep. There it is.

Cricket:A simple "no" would have sufficed.

Cricket:you got a revolution coming. And pretty soon, all of the slaves are gonna be free, and I will be owned by no man.

Dee:We're gonna have to work up to that, though, 'cause you are crazy ugly.

Dee:We're gonna have to work up to that, though, 'cause you are crazy ugly.

Dennis:You want the slave, you gotta pay for the slave. We're not gonna give it to you for free.

Dennis:Would you like a spot of tea?

Mac:Yeeees...!

Dennis:Would you like a spot of tea?

Mac:Ye-es.

Dennis:Draw it out more.

Mac:Draw it out more than that?

Dennis:Yees...!

A pair of poofs about town. Sodomites in frilly lace.

Dee:I'm not your slave anymore, Franklin. I'm about to go live like the goddamn Queen of England and never see you two bitches again.

Mac:so we got tarred and feathered for being Sodomites!

Dennis:It is not a she-male thing...

Cricket:No, I'm unscathed, my darling. This is the blood of my men. We've suffered too many casualties. All our guns jammed.

Charlie:Shit! Goddamn it, Frank. You just ruined my all life. Wait, wait, wait, check his pulse. He doesn't have a head.

Mac:Shit! Bro, we just broke the liberty bell.

Dee:I'll get you, my pretty!

Maybe she didn't understand the story.

Maybe skim too much.

Yeah, let's tell the false story this time.