The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition

Charlie:Extreme Home Makeover will make the hardest man soft

Mac:You're the biggest thief I've ever met in my life

Frank:What the hell's a vision board?

Dee:It's about how you can get whatever you want without having to work for it

Charlie:See how I got all these sweet pics of Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover? I'm gonna become like him. I'm gonna have that dude's life.

Mac:I'm gonna impregnate Danica Patrick while getting drunk in the Sahara Desert on a dune buggy

Dee:See, I envisioned the courts recognizing how ridiculous it was that my son of a bitch, asshole mother didn't leave me anything

Charlie:That's probably why Ty Pennington has such a sweet life.

Mac:Yeah, man, and he's got great hair, too.

What would Ty Pennington do?

Dennis:It's no longer a bowling ball, Frank, it's now a wrecking ball

Dee:I don't think so, Charlie. See, I'm operating at a much higher vibration which I think is gonna counteract his attempts at positive energy

Dennis:You get so excited about the smashing and then you make it competitive... You can't even help yourself, can you?

Mac:You want to have a smash off?

Dennis:A smash off?!

Dennis:How about the Mexican family that moved in down the block?

Mac:Right. What is their name?

Dennis:The Juarez family I think.

Dee:I couldn't find any blindfolds per say, but I did bring some plastic bags

Mac:Wake up, my brown friend. It's time to change your life.

Mac:Come here, you little rug rat. What are you doing? What's wrong, buddy? Come on, I'm trying to help you.

Mac:Can't run from the kindness of strangers. We are taking over your house. Your house is ours now!

Oh, it feels good to help people. Oh, man, it sure does.

Frank:I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds and get some shut-eye. I'm running on fumes... I'm a very light sleeper

Frank:You-you're the crew. That's the way I do it. I hire two guys and let them sweat it out.

Mac:In order to assimilate you with American culture, we've decided to surround you with all things American

Mac:Juarez, be easy. Your house is no more. Your life is no more. We are extreme. Like television. Yes?

Dennis:It's important that we get rid of anything that will remind the Juarez family of their old country. Bro, they're Americans now.

Frank:That broke bastard's bed is soft as shit

Frank:That show is just a bunch of manipulation to get people to cry, and then, they trick the viewers into buying shit

Charlie:That show is about how awesome Sears is! And how much Sears products save people's lives! And it's about caring and Sears

Charlie:I get very passionate about Sears... I mean,Extreme Home Make... I mean, what... what...

I don't think these people are the INS. I think we're been kidnapped.

Frank:I said what you said to say to her, and she stabbed me in the leg with the goddamn scissors

I am gonna blast your face off.

Mac:what does a little Mexican girl love more than anything else in the world? Tacos, buddy.

Mac:I got these cute little brown PJs so that she gets to feel like ground meat while she's sleeping. She's the ground meat in the middle.

Mac:She gets to, like, be in a taco every day. She's the ground meat in the middle.

Mac:How do you think they tear down an entire wall so quickly? They burn it up.

Mac:We're performing an extreme home makeover. So, do you not have a button for that?

Mac:Sears doesn't get anything out of it. Sears doesn't come in and start... Look, we don't have any money, okay?

Dennis:The first step to becoming an American... get a credit card. We need this guy to build up copious amounts of debt.

Frank:I'm gonna record everything you do... Because I know you're gonna fail. Then, I can watch it over and over again.

Mac:I purchased blue jeans and cut 'em. Thus, the fray. It's a more authentic look.

Mac:It limits restriction of leg movement. You're going to get more work done 'cause you got more leg movement.

Mac:That is good, you know... And you're not getting any high ride. I'm getting a high ride. But the shorts aren't preventing me from doing what I need to do.

Dennis:So did the neighborhood rob us? Did the neighborhood rob us? And they took my goddamn tool belt.

Dennis:I will create a parameter with the fire extinguisher. It's the only safe way to do this, okay? It'll be perfectly safe.

Dennis:I think we have successfully pulled off one extreme makeover.

Mac:They can learn about how their ancestors used to be savages until Mel Gibson and the Catholics came in and saved everybody.

Frank:They look freaky as shit.

Dennis:Move that bus!

Dee:I cannot believe the judge made me give my mansion to the Juarez family.

Mac:I can't believe their name isn't Juarez. Was anyone else surprised by that?