The Nightman Cometh

Charlie:It's gonna be awesome and... Some other stuff

Charlie:Just to write a musical. Does there have to be a reason? I don't think so.

Who's the mark?

Dennis:Whose face are we shoving this musical in?

Dennis:You don't shove a musical in someone's face. What are you talking about?

The Nightman Cometh.

Artemis:Or literate. She added words to it.

Mac:Oh, yeah! Lead, of course.

Mac:Two parts? Oh, yeah!

Frank:I'm the troll guy?

Frank:Can I do it naked?

Dee:I'm a princess who lives in a coffee shop?

Dee:Well, why am I in love with a little boy?

Dee:You keep using that word, but I'm not convinced you know what it means.

Dennis:The nightman's bad-ass, dude. He has the eyes of a cat and does karate across the stage.

Dee:Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you

Tiny boy, little boy, Want to make love to you, boy

Artemis:What if it's just a sexually charged embrace?

Charlie:Will you take a five, Dennis?! Take a five, please!

Charlie:And what's on the very back page? Nothing. Then that's what you'll be singing.

Charlie:Let me try and rember something. Uh, let's see... was it... did Dee write a musical and come to Charlie with it? No, Charlie wrote a musical and came to Dee with it.

Charlie:And the gang. And the gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves and take it away from Charlie and ruin his hopes and dreams.

Charlie:Or I could strap on a wig and I could do the song myself.

Dennis:I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable.

Frank:Got to play the troll toll To get into this boy's hole

Charlie:I feel like you're saying 'boy's hole', and it's clearly 'soul'.

Charlie:You got to pay the troll toll to get in this boy's hole... No, see, right there. It sounds like 'hole'.

Charlie:What in God's name are you talking? There's no rape scene.

Mac:Well, sure, I pay the troll toll, and then I rape Dennis.

Mac:What if I were to position him in a way where I get behind him, and then Frank could throw that blanket that he's got right there over us, and then that way you can't see the penetration.

Frank:Because the blanket will make the rapings... I'm sorry, the sexing from behind feel more classy.

Charlie:Now I'm here, okay? I am, I'm past where I thought I could go. I'm, like, all the way up here with it.

Waitress:Oh, wow, a free ticket to a play that I don't want to see.

Waitress:you're not gonna call me at 3:00 in the morning and tell me that you are in the emergency room in the hospital because you had a terrible car accident?

Charlie:Well, yeah, because I consider you that.

Gladys:I forgot to tell you, Calvin Coolidge was a good friend of mine.

Dennis:I can't really move my arms in this thing, so I think I need to rip the pits.

Mac:I wrote a song. I'm gonna throw it in.

Charlie:I will smack your face off of your face.

Dee:Just to be clear, I did not write that song,

Dee:Most men find me to be an eight or nine out of ten. And I am available to any interested men. Who'd like to get my number after the show.

Charlie:Keep singing, bitch! You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm done with you!

Mac:I was hearing a lot of laughs out there, bro.

Dennis:Laughs are cheap. I'm going for gasps.

Mac:Confound your lousy toll, troll.

Dennis:Dude, do you have a boner right now?

Mac:Shut up, dude, don't ruin this for me.

Dennis:Come over here and scratch my itchy-witchy toesy-woesies.

Frank:What the hell is that?

Mac:You know what it is, bitch.

Dennis:You're skipping a line, dude. You're still skipping the same line. Just move past it.

Dennis:What? No, don't improv.

Mac:Don't tell me what to do.

Mac:Body bag.

Dayman, Fighter of the Nightman, Champion of the sun, You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone.

Charlie:Don't say 'stage freeze.' Just do it.

Charlie:Please say yes and do not bone me, please.

Waitress:Oh, I am definitely, definitely saying no.

Charlie:Well, I didn't ever sign anything, so...

Mac:Told you nobody just writes a musical for no reason.

Frank:I thought the rape scene went really well.