Mac and Charlie Die (1)

Yeah, you're asking us to predict the future, Dee. How can I predict the future?

Dee, you tried this shit 30 years ago when that show first came on the air.

I did not poop the bed!

Dee, when we said we can't predict the future, how could we possibly have seen something this awesome coming?

Wait a minute, so this happened two nights in a row?

So we threw the first piece of poop out 'cause big deal, whatever. Accidents happen, right?

Hey, girlfriend! Oh, my God, you scared me! Did I? My bad.

Why did you jump out from behind a car? Were you stalking me?

That's the way girls are. We're catty. We backstab and talk about each other behind our backs and stalk.

Frederick is your cat and he died three weeks ago.

We want you to examine our poopie.

You've been sleeping in a giant dress shirt. It probably just fell out the bottom of it.

You want me to examine a plastic container full of feces?

You want me to examine a plastic container full of feces?

You just missed out on an extraordinary adventure, pal.

You got turd? Yeah, we got a turd. I'll take a look at it.

Whoever it was seems to have been eating newspaper.

This is wolf hair. Wolf air. Also inconclusive.

There is so much wolf hair in our apartment right now, man.

Both of you are eating wolf? Have you tried it before?

No, I'm an Econ major. I just wanted to look at some poop.

I'm gonna take off my bra, blast my nips.

Actually, make mine a water. Water? We're in a bar. Yeah, well, I have a drinking problem.

Yeah, well, I have a drinking problem.

Name's Artemis. I have a bleached asshole.

Do we come to your house and tell you how to sleep?

Dennis on his bed made for kings with his toilet made out of gold.

Charlie, we sleep ass to ass, you know that.

It smells like some kind of spice blend or pesticide, or some other kind of sandy poison or something.

I'll hold your boobs a little better.

How much? 700. 700?

Man, I am excited to bust my dogs out in these tonight.

Frank, I will jam that poop right back up your ass where it came from.

we should not be threatening each other with jamming feces into each other's assholes, okay?

He was turtle-heading. Turtle-heading! No, there was no turtles anywhere.

I'm gonna go get more wasted, and then I'm gonna bang some rim, dude.

You have a bad attitude when you're drinking, you huge-footed slut.

It's almost as if you can smell it. Oh, God...

Well... I think it's crap. Crap...

Four turds, five suspects, so many, many nameless victims.

Tall order for such a short man.

And like a small brown snail... it crept to the middle between Charlie and Frank.

The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore.

Thunder of the... chocolate variety.

Known the world over for his ability to replicate any man's stool, Cricket came back and committed fecal forgery.

A turd merger... fused together by fear and hatred... and hair.

I did it. I did 'em all. I did all the poops. I even did one, while she was rappin us, right here.

Because poop is funny.

I guess poop is very funny.