Mac and Charlie Die (2)

Quote from police statement: father threatened to 'eat the living shit out of you'

Quote: 'rape you so hard the room would stink'

Quote: 'eat your butt and his son's butt in the stink until his stomach was full of... your butts'

Mac and Charlie fighting over the microphone at a parole hearing

Objection! That's an objection, Your Honor. Move to strike!

Charlie's plan to tell parole board about butt rape threats with excessive butt repetition

You're not going to say it exactly like that... Sure? That's a lot of butts.

Yeah, I think all the butt madness is really going to sell it.

Mac wants to be hobos 'drifting from town to town, solving mysteries'

Charlie struggling with bindle physics: 'how do hobos fit all this stuff into a bandana?!'

Charlie immediately agreeing to kill themselves: 'Great, let's kill ourselves. Let's do it.'

I'm going to grab a knife, I'm going to jab it into your neck, I'll yank it out. Then your blood's going to start going everywhere.

If we were going to kill ourselves, it'd be awesome, right? Of course it would be with class!

Do you think it's for watching somebody poop? You think there's some perv coming in here to watch me make?

Dennis: 'It's very European. Europe leads the way in sexual exploration'

I could just picture a girl, and then, it's good.

Dennis: 'How's he going to do that with a dick in his mouth?'

Wait. That just kind of came out on its own. I barely pulled that.

Man, you should really brush your teeth more because that is not normal.

Okay, I got to go fill her a dick hole, bro.

Okay, I got to go fill her a dick hole, bro.

You could've just opened it.

Charlie abandoning Mac at the last second before the car crash

Pussy.

Mac actually crashing the car instead of jumping out

Why didn't you jump out?

I guess I was just going too fast. I was going too fast.

Mac: 'Pawnshops are like international waters. Anything goes here.'

That car wreck, it scrambled your circuits, all right? You're losing your mind.

Mac asking pawnshop owner for something to 'annihilate any traces of a human being'

Except for when we find the bride. That's a very important part of my plan.

The grenade producing a pathetic small explosion

That's it? Weird. That was totally lame. What a gyp.

Charlie wearing the wedding dress while discussing plans

He's also wearing a wedding dress, though, and I'd like him to take it off.

The elite sex party password being simply 'Orgy'

The 'elite orgy' being a sad buffet with old people in underwear

Mac and Charlie's dramatic suicide video message

Dennis and Frank, if you're watching this, then we're already dead. Our lives were horrible. Horrible and sad, so we decided to end it all. Not me actually, my life was pretty sweet.

The 'will' being titled 'List of demands'

Charlie's request that his ashes be made into tea and 'dranken by everyone'

Mac wanting to name first-born children Murphy 'because that was Robocop's name'

They're people! They're lying people!

You're not gonna be able to eat this hot dog. I'll suck it down.

Dennis's passionate rant about not burning the duster

I'm not gonna burn it! So, end of story, you know. Let's just move on.

She watched an entire episode of Mama's Family and fell asleep.

Animals. You're touching me. That doesn't... this isn't weird for you?

Mac and Charlie fighting over the last popper

When were you ever going to use nunchakus? Are you kidding me?

Do you know what this is like? Banging the chicks that you live with? It's terrible, man.

Here's the best part: I don't even know most of their names.

Dee demanding a 'new' 1997 Dodge Neon

You got some beans on you, or what's up?

Frank using Charlie as a ventriloquist dummy

I like you, too, Charlie. I like you, too, New Charlie.