Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare

Charlie:You're, like, a berry salesman now or...?

Dee:No, I'm a distributor, Charlie, for a revolutionary new product that changes lives.

Dee:Oh, those are my new wrenches. I got those free for sitting through a 20-minute presentation.

Charlie:Oh, I get it now. It's a scam.

Dee:Alpacas can survive entire winters on this shit.

Charlie:Now what kind of superpowers are you talking about? Like, do you survive the winter?

Charlie:Because I've survived many winters without these berries.

Charlie:Where do I put my feet?

Dee:Wherever you want.

Charlie:I'm gonna put them on the stool.

Dee:Great. It doesn't matter.

Mac:what? Units. Units, dude. Units of what?

Dee:Units of stress!

Mac:You're getting scammed, Dee!

Dee:It's not a scam!

Mac:You walked into a room that you could have walked out of with a free set of golf club but instead you got got.

Mac:Yeah, well, we won't get got though. We gonna get.

Dennis:See, Dee, people like us, we don't get got. We go get.

Dee:What are you doing, Charlie?!

Charlie:I'm drinking the berry juice to save my life.

Dee:wealth creation through the use of antioxidants, powerful antioxidants

Dee:redefine success and change the world.

Charlie:All those words are, like, stressing me out, Dee. And I can't get more stress... I'm at 157!

Charlie:He said he had some dream or something. And, like, he woke up, he's like, 'Ah, Charlie, I got to get to the playground.' And he shot out of here.

Dee:Frank? What is this? You're stuck? Was this your plan?

Charlie:How did this happen?

Frank:How does anything happen, Charlie? Move past it, will ya?

Frank:It's a pyramid scheme.

Dee:It's not a pyramid scheme.

Frank:It's a reverse funnel system.

Dee:Turn it upside down.

Dee:Oh, shit!

Dee:You're the sucker, okay? You're naked and you're stuck in a coil!

If we get him out of there, how do we know he's gonna keep helping us? If we get him out of there, he might scam us further.

Charlie:I say we leave him stuck in there just for a few more days so we can leverage him for business advice... We keep him contained.

Frank:It's Saturday coming up. There's gonna be kids here!

Mac:Save it, bozo. We're here for the free golf clubs. You got exactly 20 minutes to do your little song and dance.

Harris:You fellows strike me more as men of leisure. Obviously.

Mac:Well, we are.

Dennis:Been there? Not physically.

Dennis:What happens if we buy a third week and sell that? We're getting paid to vacation!

Mac:You got got! You thought we were a bunch of suckers, but guess what? We're not. We just bought three weeks of a time-share.

Dee:Nobody gives a shit about free soup, Charlie. People want golf clubs and concert tickets.

Da'Maniac's here. He's sucked down, like, three bowls of it.

Dee:As you can tell by our huge mansion, we're insanely loaded. But it wasn't always this way. We used to be losers, like all of you people.

Dee:Yeah, I had to do some reshoots. You are way too hung up on the berries.

Charlie:I'm Andy, proud owner of my own mountain, where I'm a magical bean farmer.

Charlie:Well, guess what? The Invigaron system is also a pyramid scheme.

Charlie:Basically a house of cards where the dickheads at the bottom do all the work, and give all the money to the smart guys up at the top.

Dee:You saw the video. Was the video not clear?

Ben:The video was pretty clear, Charlie.

Da'Maniac:Thank you for this business opportunity. I will not let you down.

Charlie:Sir, you need to pay for the product, you can't just take it out of here.

Dee:107. Hey, man, that's pretty good. Don't... Healthy guy over here.

Dee:Charlie, no, that's terrible.

Mac:Is it a sexual thing?

Frank:No, just get me the hell out!

Mac:It doesn't matter!

Frank:Matters to me; I don't think I can move past it.

Frank:How can you all be so gullible?

Dennis:This is different, Frank. Tell him. This asshole tried to sell us one week. We took the prick for three.

Frank:You think he didn't want to sell you as many weeks as possible?

Frank:He went over there, probably saw some pretty serious carnage. He's gonna have some bad PTSD. If we trigger that, he'll be putty in our hands.

Mac:You just got got, Frank. You played your hand a little too early, sucker.

Mac:Boom!

Da'Maniac:Sometimes, loud noises make the squirrels go in my head, and I don't fight in the ring anymore, but I still fight with the demons in Da'Maniac's head.

I have a 107 stress level. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I-I have to go.

I have a 107 stress level. I shouldn't be here. I-I have to go.

Da'Maniac:Sold to the Maniac for $1,400. Really? You know why? 'Cause I can pay you in Invigaron.

Dennis:Pyramid scheme and a time-share? We're diversifying our portfolio.

Da'Maniac:I'd like a big room, if you don't mind. We're gonna have so much fun.

Mac:We're gonna trigger Ben's PTSD, all right? We bust in like Navy SEALs, zip-tie his hands, bag over his head, and then we bash him till he buys.

Dennis:We broke in here, looking like Arabs, screaming at him. The guy's rock solid.

Ben:I actually had a good time during the war. I got to travel the world, uh, try new, exotic cuisines. Well, I'm a computer programmer.

I just assumed that he went down there to pound off in the nighttime.

Yeah, right, right.

Yeah, me, too.

Me, too.

Mac:Scam! This guy's a liar! You guys are getting scammed! Pyramid! Pyramid! Rape! Rape! Rape!

Look, you just, uh, sign this release form, pay a $200 penalty fee, your down line will shift up to me, and then you're free and clear.

Harris:I'm just relieved you didn't see the old opt-out clause. Oh, no. Oh, crap, I've said too much.

Mac:You also wrote 'faced' in the memo. Ha! Nice!

Harris:This guy's the best salesman I got. He's already got 30 people under him. I got to thank you all so much for hooking me up with that army guy. I got his whole platoon selling for me.

Da'Maniac:You got got! You got got!

Harris:Actually, he's in my down line. You just bought out, remember? Shoot!

Dee:Actually, he's in my down line. You just bought out, remember?

Frank:Hey! Hey, easy, easy, easy. I gotta get out of here! Get me out of here!