94 Meetings

For realskies?

[gasps] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Because I didn't think March 31st existed. ♪ 30 days has September, April, March, and November ♪

June and November.

To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmarish hellscape. However, to Leslie Knope... Oh, how fun. Yay.

Why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings 'cause I think it would be cooler if there were an even 100.

Fortunately, there were two survivors. Unfortunately, they were both horses.

Don't throw things at me. Oh, these are tight.

Oh, I'm actually here to see mark. Right. Oh, well, thanks for the coffee. That's also for mark. Mm. I really need it though. But next time more sugar. Okay, thanks. Bye!

Pre-zit. Do you have any, uh, brown concealer by any chance?

Attack by Dennis Feinstein. When you want to attack the senses of the lady you want to bed.

Bert Macklin, FBI, on the case.

Just sit there and don't ruin the city.

When April was born, I was already in 3rd grade. Which means if we were friends back then, I'd have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. My God, I could've killed her.

Tell me straight. Are you a Chinese?

That floppy old bag of money is gonna be dead in, like, a month. And who's going to comfort Jessica and her millions of dollars? Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger, but I'm a gold digger digger.

Well, I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital. And he was there because his blood doesn't work.

That's a saying everywhere. I've never heard it before And I think it's a great saying.

History is important. You just can't go around changing everything all the time or else next thing you know They'll be painting the white house... Not white. I'm so angry, I can't think of another color. Green.

I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead. Oh. I'm his daughter. April Swanson.

You won me over. I will join your team. I'm sorry, um, what we need-- When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we 'the lightning'?

Can you see this? Every time.

Your husband's a mushy, old, pile of rot.

I am not a stick in the mud! I-I just want to stop a party from happening.

I saw your penis.

Just say out loud 'yes' or 'no'. Eeeeeee-boop!

I have no idea what I was saying.

Kindly get your groin off my desk.

April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead, she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face.

Hey, sorry, dude. I don't need your sympathy. Or yours.

Gazebo? More like 'Ga-zoinks-Bo.' She may be a former beauty queen, but today she's the king of destroying history.

Crrr-AP on the cob.

Really thought that gate would open in the middle.

It never gets old!

Either you hire her back or I quit. You don't work for me. And I never will, sir.

Well, welcome to castle Ludgate!

You must be April's sister. I'm Ron.

It was supposed to be me and Ann, or me and Jessica, or Ann and Jessica with me watching.

I know you're probably thinking 'there's that crazy gate lady from outside back again.' And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady.

My mom has all your albums. I recognized you the day we met.

How about June 50th? You should come back today at 2:65? He's available then. Looks like the only other day he has open is March-tember one-teenth.