The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss

Oh. The way you crushed Mike at Ping-Pong was such a turn-on. You wanna?

You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. - I'll put a pillowcase over my head. - You're on.

Well, Mike's taking a shower, which, by the way, there's no law against.

[THUD ON WALL]

This morning I heard him do pushups and then talk to his triceps.

Dr. Geller! - God, you're amazing. I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.

Oh, that tart! Floozy! Giant!

This is none of our business. I'm not sure it's the best way to hear everything. Get me a glass!

No, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.

I can't believe I'm kissing you. - Ha, ha. I'm kissing Rachel! - Ha, ha. I know. I'm her. Ha, ha.

Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are!

Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? - Ah, who am I to talk? Ha, ha.

No one is manning that wall! - I'm on it!

You realize that's your brother. - Not until you said it. Somebody switch!

That's not true. I came with Monica, I'm leaving with Weird Al.

Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow I'm going to the salon. - Okay, Buckwheat.

You gotta hear this, it's great! It's like free porn.

Oh, is it because of what might be on the bed? I saw that report, with the infrared...

Grandma, Grandma, Grandma.

Honey? If you know it through a wall, you know it too well.

I love you... Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.

Other wall, people! Other wall!

That's not nonchalant! - No idea what it means.

There's no room under the bed...

I don't believe this. - Have you guys been...? - Shh! This is the listening side of the wall.

That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.

What is this? Well, let's see. We kissed for 10 minutes... and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade.

You're a pain in my ass, Geller.

Will you do one thing for us, the people that care about you? - Sure. - Enunciate.

Six years? Wow. That's almost as long as high school.

[GASPS] [RACHEL'S VOICE] Your lips are so soft. Do that again. [JOEY GASPS] - Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.

You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament. What are you gonna do with it? Learn about Jesus.

Stop it. Ph.D. You're filthy.

I think I can see your scalp. - Ha, ha.

Yeah. Yeah, you got shellfish in your head.

You never said that in your life. - Not once.

What do you know? It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.

Yeah. It's almost as if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.

Wish I could switch. I really don't want to sit with Allen Iverson over there.

Um, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seat belt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin.

Oh, you're not good at this.

You have a girlfriend? - Yeah. Well, when you and I broke up, I started seeing someone. - Well, for how long? - Three months.

Maybe I'll sign for it, tear it open. Pull out the packing material... - We'll have sex. Let's leave it there.

He's in a good mood after the flight attendant says 'duty-free.'

Still nervous? I'm gonna get the lasagna.

What? Ha, ha. What? Ha, ha. What would give you that idea? - I saw you. - Yeah, we kissed.

I've known Chandler longer, so I think of him as my best friend. But now... I may have to rethink some stuff.

What, are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this.

I didn't want him to get mad and take them back. I'm gonna edge out Chandler!

You can't do that. Oh, come on, Mike, strap on a pair.

We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while, just FYI.

Her name's Precious? Is she a pure breed, or did you pick her up at the pound? Ha, ha.

And if she gets upset... just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snap.

Mike's ex-girlfriend, Phoebe? The love of his life? That Phoebe?

What are you singing? - It's 'Bolero' from 10. It's 'Ride of the Valkyries' from Apocalypse Now.

Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.

As I recall, Rachel said she had never noticed the shape of your skull before. And Joey? Well, Joey didn't realize there was anything different.

Get yourself in the tooth? - And the eye.

Did she give you a bottle of antidepressants again to use as a rattle? That was one time, Ross, and they were only, like, five milligrams.

Why? Why me? Because you took 300 bottles of shampoo?

Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Susie... Can I call you Susie? My name is Precious. I can't say that.

Damn it, woman! Pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God! Okay, not a fan of the tough love.

Mike's kind of a wang.

Well, I was dancing around and singing 'No Woman, No Cry'... and, um, I got stuck.

Some of these look a little frayed. - Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.

That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go: 'I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry.' Yeah, because that's what we do.

Good night. - Stop saying good night.

She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!