The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

Doesn't she know you can't define yourself in terms of money? That it's about values and morals... ...and your ability to give and receive love?

No.

It's like Brad to have to have the last word.

There's something I never told you. I'm actually your half-brother.

...where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big.

God, that is good TV!

Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar... ...forced to play soccer forever?

Don't feel so bad. After playing... ...I break out the plastic women and everybody has a good time.

Oh, no! I have to go, because I'm late for... ...my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group.

Tonight, it's 'Why he would not eat them on a train.'

So you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets or...?

She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.

When everybody knows that the capital of Cambodia is... It's not Sean Penn.

My last girlfriend, Tilly. We're eating breakfast, right? I made these pancakes. Like, 50 pancakes.

It was literally like she had reached into my chest... ...ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my life!

There was this incredible abyss and I'm falling. I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop!

That wasn't such a funny story.

And a crusty old man Said I'll do what I can And the rest of the rats Played maracas

Phoebe's got another job, right?

I don't have my jammies.

My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.

Of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot...

She likes me best. And apparently, there have been a lot.

Phoebe's dead.

Can I take a message or... Or a fish tank?

your name came up... ...in a conversation that terrified me to my very soul.

Is Eddie a little... A little what? ...bit country? Or... You know, a little rock 'n' roll?

You had sex with her.

That's one of my favorite digests!

If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die. But I made it, 'If this woman doesn't get to a hospital... ...she's not gonna live.'

Oh, okay. I see what you did there.

Makes up most of his lines. Son of a...

Write this, jerk-weed. I fall down an elevator shaft?

They can't kill me! I'm Francesca's long-lost son!

I don't think that will affect the plot of the show.

Two? Two?

How is that possible? I mean... ...have you seen you?

Okay, it is definitely less than a ballpark.

Better not be doing these in order.

Oh, yes, the weenie from Turinie.

All it really was was just meaningless, animal sex.

Okay, you know, that sounded so much better in my head.

You sleep with my ex-girlfriend, insult my intelligence by lying... ...then you kill my fish? My Buddy?

Would you look at what I'm doing? Now that can't be smart.

So we're just gonna take this guy right off you... ...and put him here in Mr. Pocket.

You had me thinking it was, like, a fleet.

Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh, my God! Am I an oat?

Invite Paolo to have a romp in the sack... ...and I'll stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes!

Not even, like... ...chipmunk sex?

It was good with Paolo. - Knock-knock.

There's only one.

I have a comb.

I'll give this to you now, if you tell me where we keep the dustpan.

So were you in Nam?

You've got it totally the other way around, my friend. Jon Voight...

In the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...

So when I woke up this morning... ...he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes!

Because sometimes after you sleep with someone... ...you have to kill a fish.

I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.

Oh, okay. All right. I love you. Yeah, whatever.

Now maybe.

And some of us really have to pee!

They said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in... ...that the only doctor who could've saved me was me.

Like, the other day, I got this credit card application... ...and I was pre-approved!

You'll always be pre-approved with us.

That means nothing to me.

Are these raisins? Sure, why not?

I got a little surprise. Look. There's a new fishy. I named him... ...Chandler, you know, after you.

Well, that's not even a real fish. No, that's a Goldfish cracker.

So what's your point, man?

You big freak of nature!

Let's never speak of this.