The One Where Eddie Won't Go

What are you doing here? - Watching you sleep.

It makes me feel, um, peaceful.

Hannibal Lecter? Better roommate than you.

What about the other nights when you don't see me, huh?

Last night you went and got some water... and I was nice enough to hide behind the door.

Where'd you hear it before?

Finally got that time machine working, huh?

A mirror?

Cachet? Jaunty? Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper.

And the wind can make us goddesses. Do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it.

That sounds kind of cool. It's like The Hobbit.

It is nothing like The Hobbit.

Hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man-cakes?

Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor.

This book could have been called Be Your Own Wind Keeper, Rachel!

Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable.

You go, girl!

I can't pull that off, can I?

You know I don't... have a problem with that.

Sorry. Damn it!

This is why I don't date women who read.

Envelope one of two.

The guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent. I was confused.

Joey, you owe $1100 at 'I Love Lucite.'

I don't need you getting judgmental and condescending and pedantic. - Toilet paper? - Yeah.

What I do know is you owe $2300 at 'Isn't It Chromantic?'

Maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm.

Your last roommate's kidney? That's a tomato.

I used to be Brice on All My Children.

This is not out of the blue! This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue!

Five-O dollars.

You were going for bridge there, weren't you?

You totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power. And his puppet too!

Only because you took up half the circle!

You are such a leaf blower!

Judas is a little loose.

You're living the dream!

Uh, it was an impulse buy. Near the register.

There is no alley behind Macy's.

We'll make it a chip chick.

We took a road trip to Las Vegas! Oh, sweet Moses!

Is anyone else starting to really like him?

I guess I got the wrong apartment.

Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath.

What happened to the foosball? It's a cantaloupe.

Is he housetrained or will he leave little bathroom tiles all over?