The One Where Heckles Dies

When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.

I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.

Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.

Heh, heh. You guys are messing with me, right?

That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa!

Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason.

You don't have birds. / I could have birds.

I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.

Hello, Chandler Bing! Oh, my God!

Oh, Chandler! Now! Now! That's it. There! Faster!

We won! / Mr. Heckles.

I was sweeping yesterday. It could've been me.

Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!

Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.

Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy.

Okay, don't get me started on gravity.

Lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton and he's pissed.

According my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to 'the noisy girls in the apartment above mine.'

All right, there was none.

He hated us! This was his final revenge! / Ever seen so much crap! Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.

So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?

April 18th, excessive noise, Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning.

You don't have any stuff. / You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?

Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.

I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.

Wow. Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I.

Well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.

So? You were both dorks. Big deal.

Vivian, too tall. / Madge, big gums. / Too loud. / Too smart. / Makes noise when she eats.

Bitter Town, Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!

What if I found her but I dumped her because she pronounces it 'supposably'?

I mean, what if we're over at her folks' place?

Supposably. / Supposably. / Did they go to the zoo? / Supposably.

Jeez, look how fat she got.

Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing.

And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh, no. Janice likes to have her fun.

Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.

And up till 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out.

There might be a teeny, tiny possibility.

How are you gonna face the other science guys?

I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke.

I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket. But I want to believe you.

Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face.

Run away from Crazy Snake Man, they'll shout!

Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we've ever gone out with.

Whoa! Don't know about that.

Clock whistles

But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore because she has an unusually large head.

You're all going to hell.

My God, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work.

Nice smile, good dresser. Big head, big head, big head!