The One With All The Wedding Dresses

Rachel:So... nice weather we're having.

Gunther:You don't have to do that.

Rachel:Do what?

Gunther:Fill the silence. It's okay. The silence is fine.

Rachel:Oh. Okay...

Gunther:...

Ross:There is no sleep clinic for that.

Chandler:What about the Institute for People Who Sleep With Their Eyes Open and Wake Up Screaming?

Ross:That's not a real thing.

Chandler:Well, there should be!

Monica:You could try sleeping on your side.

Chandler:Oh, yeah!

Monica:I can't believe you're engaged!

Ross:What? Why not?

Monica:No, no, it's not that... I mean, it's not because you're undateable or anything.

Joey:Whoa, whoa, whoa! You are so whipped! *makes ridiculous sound effect*

Chandler:What was that sound?

Joey:That's the sound of a whip!

Joey:What? That's the sound a whip makes!

Chandler:No, it's not. A whip sounds like 'crack,' not 'pshhew.'

Joey:Dude, I've seen Indiana Jones. I know what a whip sounds like.

Chandler:Joey, you literally just made a sound like a cat being launched into space.

Joey:That's because I'm really good at it!

Joey:Could we please stop with the whip sound?

Chandler:No! It's the only way I can communicate with you anymore!

Ross:You know, Rachel, I think it's great that you're putting yourself out there. Sure, your dating life is a complete disaster, and yes, every relationship you have ends in catastrophic failure, but... you just keep trying. And that's... that's really brave.

Rachel:Why do you sound like you're reading me my last rites?

Rachel:We've been on four dates! Four! That's basically an engagement!

Rachel:Oh, so I should just 'be more careful'? Thanks Ross, that's so helpful. I'll just add that to my list of things to worry about between my job and my love life.

Rachel:You know what? 'Be more careful.' I'll have it embroidered on a pillow.

Monica:Oh my God, this dress is so beautiful!

Monica:You know, 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Store Employee:You're going to make such a beautiful bride.

Rachel:I know, right? I've already picked out my colors.

Chandler:Joey, you have to do something about your snoring. It's unbearable.

Joey:What do you want me to do?

Chandler:I don't know! See a doctor, get surgery, go to a sleep clinic, visit the pajama store — something!

Joey:Weddings are great for meeting women.

Chandler:Yeah, that's why I'm always the first one on the dance floor.

Joey:Chandler, you're the last one on the dance floor. And usually security has to ask you to leave.

Chandler:Well, at least I'm memorable.

Chandler:I can't dance. I have no rhythm, no coordination, nothing.

Chandler:Watch this.

Ross:The wedding is in one month.

Phoebe:Oh my God, that's like... that's like my cycle!

Rachel:I've been thinking about us, and I want to be more impulsive and crazy. You know, shake things up a little.

Joshua:Impulsive and crazy? Rachel, that's not really what I'm looking for in a relationship.

Rachel:But don't you want someone who keeps you on your toes? Someone spontaneous and exciting?

Joshua:I want someone stable. Someone I can count on.

Rachel:Well, I'm going to be spontaneous starting right now. I'm going to dye my hair green!

Joshua:Please don't.

Rachel:I want to be more spontaneous in our relationship.

Joshua:That's great.

Rachel:So... when are we getting married?

Joshua:Rachel, I... wow. This is... I'm really flattered, but I think maybe we should pump the brakes here a little bit.

Joshua:I mean, we've been on four dates. Four! That's... that's not a lot of dates.

Joshua:And I like you, I do, but marriage is a big thing. It's like... it's like buying a house without seeing it first.

Joshua:Except the house is my life, and you're trying to move in after four viewings.

Joshua:So... maybe we could just, you know, date for a while? See where this goes?

Rachel:Oh my God, what did I just do?

Rachel:I just proposed to him! I proposed to him! Who does that?!

Rachel:I'm an idiot. I'm such an idiot.

Chandler:Well, I'm a heavy sleeper, so I wouldn't hear it anyway. But I'm willing to stay up all night just to hear you say something interesting.

Monica:Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were going for realism in our fantasy game!

Monica:Oh my God, we're grown women playing with wedding dresses.

Phoebe:I know. It's pretty pathetic.

Monica:This isn't even my dress.

Phoebe:Where'd you get it?

Monica:I borrowed it from my friend.

Phoebe:Well, I got mine at a store called 'Suck It Up.'

Monica:I'm not changing out of this dress.

Monica:I can't wear regular clothes anymore. This dress has ruined me for everything else.

Ross:How did you get the girl instead of Joey?

Chandler:Well, Joey was literally unconscious.

Joey:Hey, you know what? This anti-snoring device tastes like a hockey puck, but at least I'm not snoring anymore.

Rachel:Joshua, hi, it's me. I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm not crazy. I know what I did was impulsive, but I'm not crazy. I just... I really like you, and I thought maybe we could talk about this. So... call me back, okay?

Answering Machine:[beep]

Rachel:Make dinner reservations for three.

Ross:Three? That's pretty late. Most restaurants stop serving at two.

Ross:Why did Joshua break up with you?

Rachel:Well, I may have accidentally proposed to him.

Ross:You proposed to him?

Rachel:He didn't take it well.

Ross:Are you going to be okay?

Rachel:Yeah, I'll be fine. I have Monica, Phoebe, and you guys.

Ross:That's great, Rach.

Rachel:Besides, who needs a man when you have friends like these?

Monica:I wish I could wear a wedding dress to work.

Phoebe:Oh, you could be a wedding dress model!

Monica:Oh my God, Chandler! You can't see us! It's bad luck!

Phoebe:Yeah, groom can't see the bride before the wedding!

Chandler:You're not actually getting married.

Monica:I don't care! The universe doesn't know that!

Monica:If Chandler sees me in this dress before the wedding, he'll break up with me.

Rachel:Monica, that's not how it works.

Monica:Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure if he sees me looking this good, he'll realize he can do better.

Chandler:I just want to say, when I picture my wedding day, I always imagined Monica and Phoebe screaming at me like this.