The One with the Invitation

If I died, people would know I was here only by the ass print on this chair!

Not something stupid. Something huge!

It's just steep!

It'd be nice to leave an ass print on Everest

And you would die.

While we're at the video store, we could rent Die Hard!

But one of these days we'll get off our butts and rent Die Hard again!

We'll say that Ben addressed them

I wouldn't be comfortable having any of my old lovers there

And I just want a million dollars!

I knew. / You did? / I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky brother. / I did.

Try not to let my intense vulnerability become a factor

It's never gonna happen

Actually, it's not so much a question. It's more of a general wondering-ment

Listen, missy! If you want this cart, you'll have to take me with it!

I don't need your stupid ship!

A break from us

Don't answer! / You wanted to talk about it. How was she?

Once a cheater, always a cheater

WE WERE ON A BREAK!

You're sitting here in a hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip

Handkerchief? No, I got my invitation

So I didn't know that. But you should see your faces

Because I already bought my ticket

Remember when he fell in love with Carol and got her that expensive crystal duck?

Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

No, you hang up. You! / You didn't hang up! / She didn't hang up either

and your cat

When were you under me?

No, you just rolled over the juice box

And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common. It doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal.

So how many cameras are actually on you?

Looking good, Mr. Kotter!

See? He's her lobster!

And your license expired

It's better! You can't go to a museum in your underwear. / You could, but just the one time.

I bet the British version is good!