Joey convinces Ross to pick him as his best man instead of Chandler. He throws a great bachelor party, but the next morning he's shocked to find out that the wedding ring is missing and he suspects that the stripper stole it. Meanwhile, Phoebe is experiencing major mood swings due to her pregnancy and the girls decide to throw her a baby shower to cheer her up, but it only makes matters worse.
Wedding chaos delivers 62 jokes at 2.98 per minute—Friends' densest finale act ever.
Directed by Peter Bonerz · Written by Ted Cohen, Andrew Reich, Greg Malins
WAR
69.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The One With The Worst Best Man Ever” ranks #25 of 236 Friends episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.4 — Elite. The episode packs 62 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Joey landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Phoebe: Oh my God, the baby's kicking! Feel it!
Monica: That's amazing!
Phoebe: Yeah, but I think the other one's jealous. If they don't stop fighting in there, I'm gonna reach in and separate them!
Phoebe Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Joey: My duck is fully trained. Watch this. Okay, Waddles, quack!
Joey: See? She quacked on command. Now watch - flap your wings!
Joey: And look at that - she's waddling. Perfectly trained.
Joey Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Joey Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Chandler: This is impossible. This is like asking me to choose between Monica and Rachel.
Chandler: Actually, no—I've done that. This is harder.
Ross: What's your last name?
Gunther: Central?
All Jokes — 62 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Phoebe: I have to pee again. That's the third time this hour!
Rachel: Phoebe, you've announced that you have to pee three times this hour.
Phoebe: The baby's been kicking so much, it feels like there's a whole Broadway show going on in there.
Monica: That sounds uncomfortable.
Phoebe: It is! It's like 'Stomp'.
Phoebe Observational Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Phoebe: I can't have coffee because of the baby, I can't have sushi because of the baby, I can't have a nice soft cheese because of the baby. The only thing that makes me happy is eating, and I can't do that because of the baby!
Phoebe Irony/Sarcasm Observational Rachel: Have you been having mood swings?
Phoebe: No! I haven't had mood swings!
Rachel: Phoebe, you just had one.
Phoebe: No I didn't!
Joey: Oh my God! Yes! Yes, I will marry you!
Joey Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Ross: I need to pick a best man.
Chandler: Oh, wow. Okay, so you're not asking me?
Ross: Well, I haven't decided yet.
Chandler: Could this BE any more awkward?
Chandler Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Chandler: Hey, I was thinking... when I get married, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: Oh man, that's great! Wait... you're gonna get married?
Chandler: This is impossible. This is like asking me to choose between Monica and Rachel.
Chandler: Actually, no—I've done that. This is harder.
Joey: Hey, I'm honored. But I gotta say, I feel really bad for Chandler.
Chandler: What? Why?
Joey: Because when this wedding's over, you're gonna be married. And I'm still gonna be Joey Tribbiani.
Joey Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Phoebe: Oh my God, the baby's kicking! Feel it!
Monica: That's amazing!
Phoebe: Yeah, but I think the other one's jealous. If they don't stop fighting in there, I'm gonna reach in and separate them!
Phoebe Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Monica: Wait, what did she say?
Phoebe: I said, if you leave this apartment, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them!
Monica: She's asking if you'll bring back some beer.
Monica Misdirection Character Comedy Monica: Why aren't we invited to the bachelor party?
Joey: It's a bachelor party. You have to be a bachelor.
Rachel: We can be bachelors.
Joey: No, you have to be single guys. That's what a bachelor is.
Phoebe: So if we pretend to be single guys—
Joey: You can't pretend. You either are or you aren't. I don't make the rules.
Joey Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Joey: A baby shower? I'm not going to a baby shower. I don't even go to my own mother's birthday parties.
Joey Character Comedy Reaction Beat Phoebe: Oh my God, I'm so excited! I'm having a party!
Phoebe: I just... I can't... *breaks into tears* Why am I crying?!
Phoebe Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort Joey: So I'm thinking about who to invite to my bachelor party, and I want to make sure I get all the right guys.
Gunther: I'll be there.
Joey: Wait, what? I didn't even ask you.
Gunther: I heard you talking about it. I'm in.
Joey: Paleontologists? Yeah, those dinosaur dudes are cool.
Joey Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Joey: Okay, so for the bachelor party, I'm thinking we get some beer, maybe some wine...
Chandler: Joey, that's it? That's your big plan?
Joey: What? I went to the store, I got a six-pack!
Ross: A six-pack? Joey, there's gonna be like thirty guys there!
Joey: So? We can always get more... I mean, I can always drink more.
Joey Observational Character Comedy Joey: Oh, so now you're too good for Atlantic City? What, you want to go somewhere fancy like the Hamptons or something?
Joey: "Oh, I'm Ross Geller, I have a PhD in paleontology, I only celebrate life's milestones in places with Michelin stars."
Ross Joey Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Joey: Hey, hey, hey! I didn't hire a stripper. This is my friend Candy. She's a dancer.
Ross: Joey!
Joey: What? You said no strippers. She's a dancer!
Joey Misdirection Character Comedy Chandler: It's not a stripper rule, it's a 'we were on a break' rule.
Joey: Oh, right, right. I knew that. I just wasn't listening.
Rachel: Oh my God, look at these little outfits! They're so tiny!
Phoebe: I know! It's like clothes for the Bee Gees!
Rachel Wordplay/Pun Observational Monica: I know, but she's carrying our baby. The least we can do is make sure she's comfortable and well-dressed.
Chandler: Monica, she's a surrogate. She's not a life-size doll.
Monica: I just want everything to be perfect for when the baby arrives.
Chandler: The baby arrives from inside of her, not from a shopping bag from Baby Gap.
Monica Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Rachel: Wait, so we're throwing a party for someone who's giving away their baby?
Monica: When you say it like that, it sounds depressing.
Rachel: I'm not trying to be depressing, I'm just saying — we're celebrating something really sad.
Rachel Observational Meta/Self-Referential Monica: Okay, so I'm thinking we get you some really nice maternity clothes, and then some regular clothes for after the baby.
Phoebe: Oh, that's so sweet! But, um, I'm gonna need clothes that can go from maternity to regular really quickly.
Monica: Why? How fast do you think you'll lose the weight?
Phoebe: No, because I'm gonna forget I'm pregnant and go back to my old lifestyle.
Monica Character Comedy Callback Callback Phoebe: Oh wow, thank you so much! A diaper genie! You know, I've always wondered what I'd do if I had a regular genie and I wished for it to become a diaper genie.
Phoebe: And look, a book on how to be a better mother. Wow. Because apparently I'm not doing a good job.
Phoebe: And this... what is this? A breast pump? Oh great, so now I can be a cow in my spare time.
Phoebe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Ross: What's your last name?
Gunther: Central?
Gunther: Thanks, Ross. You know, I've always appreciated how you treat people around here.
Gunther: But I gotta be honest with you... I've been in love with Rachel for years.
Gunther Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Callback Ross: The best man position is open.
Ross: I also need a bride.
Ross Dark/Subversive Observational Joey: Hey, that's a great attitude, man. You know, most guys, they see the glass half empty. But you... you see the glass, and you just think about how nice it's gonna look in your wedding china.
Joey Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag Joey: My duck is fully trained. Watch this. Okay, Waddles, quack!
Joey: See? She quacked on command. Now watch - flap your wings!
Joey: And look at that - she's waddling. Perfectly trained.
Joey Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Joey: See? He can do all my tricks!
Stripper: Yeah, that duck's got some moves.
Joey: I know, right? He's a natural!
Stripper: So... does he do private parties?
Stripper Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Joey: Wait, wait, wait. Don't go. I can offer you something better.
Stripper: What?
Joey: A real acting job. I know people in the business. We could work together, develop your talent, really bring out what's inside you.
Joey Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Chandler: Oh my God, there's a stripper in my apartment!
Chandler Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Chandler: Well, I've lost a lot of things in my life — my hair, my dignity, my will to live — but never a wedding ring.
Chandler: Although, given my track record, I'm surprised I made it this far without losing Monica.
Chandler: What happened?
Joey: What do you think happened? She left me.
Phoebe: You know, getting married is kind of like being homeless.
Rachel: What? How is that even—
Phoebe: Well, you have no idea where you're going to end up, and everything you own is in bags... Oh my God, I've been homeless!
Phoebe: I mean, come on, Rachel. You're upset about your apartment? At least you have an apartment. I once lived in a box for three months.
Rachel: A box?
Phoebe: Yeah, and before that I lived in a—
Phoebe: You know what? I'm being really mean. I'm sorry. Your problems are valid.
Phoebe Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Joey: Yeah, hi, I need to report a missing person.
911 Operator: Sir, is this person in immediate danger?
Joey: Well, no, but my girlfriend's engagement ring is missing and that's like, way more important.
911 Operator: Sir, 911 is for emergencies.
Joey: I know! That's why I called!
Joey Absurdist Character Comedy Ross: So this one colleague, he's never even been to a bachelor party before. I mean, the guy doesn't know how to talk to people. He showed up wearing a fanny pack and immediately asked if there was a gift registry.
Ross Character Comedy Observational Ross: This ring belonged to my grandmother. It's been in my family for generations. It's incredibly valuable, both monetarily and sentimentally.
Joey: Dude, I lost it.
Ross: You what?!
Joey: I lost the ring, man. I'm sorry.
Ross: Joey! This is my grandmother's ring! How could you lose it?!
Joey: I don't know! One minute I had it, the next minute—
Ross: This is unbelievable. Do you understand what you've done?
Ross Setup/Punchline Escalation Ross: This ring has been in my family for generations. My great-grandfather gave it to my great-grandmother, and it's been passed down through the family ever since. It's a symbol of love and commitment that has stood the test of time.
Ross: And according to family legend, it has mystical properties. It's said to make whoever wears it irresistible to their soulmate.
Ross Escalation Setup/Punchline Joey Deadpan/Understatement Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Ross: How could this happen?
Joey: Well, it all started when you decided to...
Joey Callback Character Comedy Callback Ross: I'm calling the police!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm being arrested?
Chandler: No, no. He's not arresting you. He's just calling them.
Joey: Oh, thank God. For a second there I thought I was going to jail.
Joey: Call the police? Go ahead! I know the commissioner!
Joey Character Comedy Absurdist Chandler: Yes, because that's what this office needs. A stripper. Not better lighting, not a working coffee machine, not a stapler that actually staples. A stripper.
Chandler Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Monica: If Phoebe goes into labor, we need to make sure everything is sterile. I've already sanitized the apartment three times today.
Monica: Actually, you know what? If she goes into labor here, this place will be the cleanest delivery room in all of New York.
Monica Character Comedy Observational Callback Rachel: Okay, okay, I've seen this like a million times. First, we need to boil water.
Monica: Why? Why do we need to boil water?
Rachel: I don't know! But they always do it in the movies!
Rachel Observational Character Comedy Monica: Rachel, do you have the pregnancy book I lent you?
Rachel: Oh! Yes, of course!
Rachel: Here it is!
Monica: Rachel, this is a cookbook.
Rachel: Well, you said you wanted to know what to expect!
Chandler: Okay, we need to go undercover with fake names. I'll be Sal Fasano.
Joey: I'll be Adrian Zmed.
Ross: I'll be Jacques Strappe.
Chandler: We look like a 1970s diversity poster.
Chandler Observational Meta/Self-Referential Stripper: Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Bing?
Gunther: That's not... that's Chandler's last name.
Stripper: Oh, well do you know where I can find him?
Gunther: He went to the bathroom.
Stripper Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Joey: Hey, hey, hey! You know, Ross, I've interrogated a lot of people in my time, and let me tell you something — you're doing it all wrong.
Joey Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Stripper: You guys are like the Hardy Boys, except you're not brothers, you're not tough, and you're not boys anymore.
Stripper: I make $3,000 a week.
Joey: Will you marry me?
Joey Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Monica: Well, if you're not sure if it's real labor, then it's not real labor. When it's real labor, you'll know.
Monica Deadpan/Understatement Observational Phoebe: I can't drink tequila in leather pants as a mom.
Monica: Yeah, that would be terrible.
Phoebe: Wait, why did you agree with me so fast?
Rachel: You're gonna be the cool aunt.
Phoebe: Oh, I know.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Another contraction!
Monica: Phoebe, that was like two minutes ago.
Phoebe: I know, they're coming really close together now.
Rachel: Shouldn't we get you to the hospital?
Phoebe: No, no, I'm fine. Actually, I was just messing with you guys. I'm not even in labor.
Phoebe Misdirection Character Comedy Joey: He's not a bad duck. He's just... a duck.
Joey Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Veterinarian: I found your ring.
Joey: My ring! Oh my God! Where was it?
Veterinarian: It was in the parrot's stomach.
Joey: The parrot?! Oh thank God! I thought it was gone forever!
Joey: Oh man, that's beautiful dude.
Chandler: Yeah, we're really lucky to have you too, man.
Joey: I mean, look at us. We're like brothers.
Chandler: We really are. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.
Joey: Okay, okay, stop. You're making me cry now.
Chandler: No, I'm serious! You mean everything to me!
⏩ The part you fast-forward
Our scorer flagged 06:32-07:12 baby shower planning section as the stretch with the fewest or weakest comedic moments. Everything else lands harder.
