The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 1)

Hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! In London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!

Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.

What have you got there? Condoms, dude. Well, how come the writing is in spanish? Don't read my condoms.

-Who are you saying 'check' to? -Myself. For remembering to pack a thing. You do a good thing, you get a 'check.'

Mom does it. I never realized it was weird. My mom used to put her head in the oven.

Actually, only the one time. But it's pretty weird.

Got your passport? Third drawer of my dresser. You don't want to lose that!

Let's do it. Cheerio! London, baby! That's not gonna get annoying. London, baby! You know what? I was wrong.

I want to go over and hug you and wish you luck, but I can't get up. -I'll come hug you. -Great, can you bring me the paper?

Chandler, I want to hug you too! You might as well bring my book from your apartment.

Here you go, Phoebe! Phoe-bo! Phoo-ba-la!

London, baby!

Oh, God! Do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything.

Do something! I am. I'm ignoring you.

If you see a little version of me in there, kill it!

Well, up yours too! -What? -Oh, that's not what it means. -No! That's 'time out.' -Sorry.

And you wouldn't worry about the salmonella. But of course...with salmon you would have to worry about the chicknella.

They tore it down early.

Hands down, best abbey I ever seen.

It's great! They're thinking of changing the name. -To what? -To 'Put the Camera Away'!

Man, you are Westminster Crabby.

Sorry. Lucky this dress is red.

What should be the most wonderful day of my life is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food.

Okay, I have a wedgie. That is all you.

Don't be so hard on yourself. If I was still in love with some— Still in love with? I'm not in love with Ross.

I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him. Oh, my God!

It would be like telling Monica: 'Hey, you like things clean.' Or, you know, 'Hey, Joey, you're gay.'

What? Oh, please, she's always got a broom in her hand.

I won't need that 'I'm with stupid' T-shirt anymore.

How can I answer when I'm pretending I don't know you?

If you make me choose between you and the hat, I choose the hat.

How are you doing? Joey Tribbiani, America.

Do you think my sister's teeny, tiny, little brain comprehends...that people took time out of their lives...to fly thousands of miles to be here?

Don't you point your pants at me!

Manhattan doesn't have enough stores.

Only if you have the hiccups too.

The chocolate and water are for me. I didn't feel like getting up.

His hair never bothered me that much. It was more crunchy than it was greasy.

Well, I like you less.

Me too. -Yeah? -No! I had the best day ever!

That's Fergie, baby!

Oh, my God! You're even dumber than I am.

That's what we did. We dreamed about the perfect wedding. In the perfect place. With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake. With the little people on top.

That pillowcase thing, I thought you were doing The Flying Nun. Sometimes we were.

I'll get it. Pheebs, it's Joey. Hey, Joey! I saw someone that looks just like you on the subway. I was going to say hi, then I figured he doesn't care he looks like you.

Who's seven? Me, Rachel...the birds, the babies. The babies miss me? Of course they do, or I'm just really hungry.

Two pizzas? -Gotta go! Talk to you later. -Wait! Where did you get it from?

Then we'll get wet. I don't even have a date.

You're going because you hope he'll say: 'I love you too. Forget the British chippy.'

No, it's not over until someone says, 'I do.' I do! I do!

Like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter!

First one identifies oneself...and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak. What are you saying? Now, let us try that again, shall we? No! Oh, my God!

So if you don't give me that number, I'm gonna come over there...and I'm gonna kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloukenshire!

She knew I could kick her ass.

Jack, that's what they call the subway. -I thought -Dad, we got it.

She's very self-involved. I should never have married her. -It's the Gellers. -Where? That's one and that's another one.

A joke that's funny in all countries.

That's not food.

I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like!

You're mean in England!

How about five? Thank you.

And I have a 20.

Why am I always pregnant when she does that?

I thought things were going to work out for him, until the day he over-inflated her.

I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down.

I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies. Am I on the radio?

To think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Come on, Monty Hall! Let's Make a Deal. Come on, you people!

But not as much as I love America.

Out loud? I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.

My God! You must have been a teenager when you had him.

you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us, cheap little man!

He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.

Please! I'm a single mom with a 30-year-old son.

I'm getting married today!

Or perhaps slip you one.

Well, I've never done that with you before.

Could you not look? I don't want to look.

So tell me about this girl.

This is a terrible, terrible plan. -But he has to know how I feel. -But why?

And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break.

What? We gotta find her. Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him. -Oh, my God! -I know. Do you know where Monica is? No. What's with the third degree? Why not just shine a light in my eyes?

You can let some of them go by.

There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar. You have to meet me in the middle here. My foot's gonna meet the middle of your ass.

I could kill you with my thumb, you know.

I just came to...I just needed to tell you...congratulations.

I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe! He looks pretty mad. I better go.

What we did last night was -Stupid. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Definitely.

I, Ross...take thee, Emily...take thee, Rachel— Emily.

Shall I go on?

Why, what's the matter?