The One with the Inappropriate Sister

Top shelf, expired products

Dude, you just described seven days' worth of stuff. Spread it out a little.

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. / Hey, don't get religious on me, okay?

Hello, Chandler Bing. / Hello, Mr. Bing. / I love you.

It's been 6 months! It's not funny!

I can see you, Mr. Bing. You look sexy in your new suit.

And that's Wednesday.

The British are coming?

I'll be spreading joy to the people. Last year I spread a little joy, but not enough. So this year I'm doing the whole city.

I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular.

It's weird, you're starting to sound a lot like Chandler lately.

That is so not true.

They never give a good spot to a rookie... but I'm the only one who can say 'Merry Christmas' in 25 languages. I lied!

See? Still pretending he's not interested.

He's coming over. Pretend we've forgotten who he is. / Hey, guys. / Hey, Danny.

On the date, I'll be able to talk to her directly?

Well, Talia Shire suddenly became available. / She's a woman! / What can I say? She nailed it!

You'll just say no again, but... gay porn?

Is that a new suede jacket? It looks really expensive. / Yeah. I guess.

Just get your nails done? / Yes, Phoebe, but this is all I have, okay?

You can't take money out. / I'm making change for the bus. / Can't you leave the dollar for the poor? / I'm poor. I gotta take the bus. / Bite me, blondie!

What are the chances I could get those guys to star in it? / Wait a second. I could star in it!

I can't write. I mean, I'm an actor. I could act like a writer.

Done. / And it can't be Joey. / It's not. / Or Joseph.

You meddled in our relationship! / You had no relationship!

She was kind of stupid.

Chandler Bing, seven! Chandler Bing, zero!

Well, you suck. But at least you suck at a man's game now.

We said goodbye to that when we invented hammer darts.

Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?

No, that's trash, young lady. You can't— Stop that young lady! She donated trash!

The charity's on fire! Help! Thank you. I need that!

A room. A man enters. He looks suspicious.

That's the game we played. It's great. You take a tennis ball, a bowl and lighter—

Not the creator of 'Crazy Lawsuit Game.'

I thought I heard you. / Hey, great, you're up. / Rachel, my sister Krista. / Nice to meet you. / I wish you'd warned me. I'd have fixed myself up. / Like it would help. / You are so bad. / You are. / You are. / You are! / You are so dead. / I'm gonna get you. Come here!

Does this look like a garbage can to you? Does it look like an ashtray? Does it look like a urinal?

No more Mrs. Nice Bucket.

But not totally back. Street Phoebe wouldn't be friends with you guys.

Well, you weighed 200 pounds.

Still, I was quick as a cat.

Not since I got too strong for you.

Oh, fine. Ready? Wrestle!

Okay, you know what? Actually, that helps a lot. Thanks.

Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.

If you were a friend, you'd be doing the same. / So being a friend means being a jerk? / If it does, then you're an amazing friend of mine.

You said you would, but you didn't. / Oh, yeah.

Chasing the churro guy is not jogging.

Damn. I got it on my pants. / Here, I'll get it. / We better take them off or the stain will set.

Oh, my God! / That was unbelievable. / See? I told you. / Yeah. Sorry. / I don't believe they're brother and sister. / They're brother and sister?! / I guess you'll have to cancel your date. And call their mother.

What's this? A Canadian coin? Get out of here!

You can leave the 'hurt bunny' look over there too.

That chick can't handle my corner.

I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch.

You and your sister seem to have a very special bond— / Oh, great. That 'special bond' again.

No, I have two sisters. But one has a very masculine energy.

Danny? Hurry up. The bath's getting cold.

If they have a ball, you could stick razors in it... and teach them a new game: 'Gonna-Need-Stitches Ball.'

Now we can go to the Ranger game last night!

Also without somebody breathing down your neck all the livelong day!

Could I be more sorry?

I don't know. I am one sorry... polontologist.

A handsome man enters.

And you. You co-created Fireball.

This took you all day? / No, this took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new Ultimate Fireball!

God, Tiffany, you smell so great. / It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?

Joey, you are sick. / This is disgusting. I'm not reading this. / Wait, wait, wait! The handsome man was about to enter!