The One with the Joke

Yes, Ross, we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them.

Don't tell him about the videos!

They print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures.

Didn't work on Mom, it's not gonna work on us.

It was also funny when I made it up.

Hey, tell Dan thanks.

I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny.

You tell a lot of jokes.

You know there's naked chicks in there, right?

I don't want to miss when they were skinny.

I tell you, the music these kids listen to today... it's a lot of noise to me.

I know things have been tight since Janine moved out. God, was she hot.

Paid your phone bill? -No.

Yikes!

Sure. Like in the case of this young woman... she has lost her clothes. So she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they?'

She's not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that.

Remember the days when you'd go out to the barn... Lift up your shirt and bend over?

She's cute, she's outdoorsy. And she knows how to build a fire. That'll come in handy.

Rachel. What? I don't know. Me neither.

I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it. The doctor is a monkey. And monkeys can't write out prescriptions.

You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.

Well, I think the Hef would disagree. Which is why he sent me a check... for $100.

I was gonna stick it in the ATM. But now I think I'll show the sexy teller... that I am a published writer.

I've had to cut down on some luxuries like... paying for stuff, so...

See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? And to go from that to this, it's just...

Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want. What? Flexible hours.

I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.

Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts.

Just trying to re-create some of the fun that we had at my place. Remember? When you picked Rachel over me?

The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you... is just, you know, you're... high maintenance. Let's go to lunch!

You write out a list, and we'll go through it point by point. No, you're right, you're easygoing.

Oh, okay. You're not a pushover.

You're not invited to lunch! What do you think? Pretty strong, I think.

Oh, I love that Japanese place. -I'm sick of Japanese. Not there. Wherever you want to go is cool.

I don't see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons.

It's supposed to go the other direction. So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.

Don't eat yellow snow.

And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin.

How about clearing out so I can get some new customers? It's all about turnover.

That's true, I am flaky. So, what, you're just okay with being flaky? Yeah, totally.

I'm flaky. I'll say anything.

I'm the lead guy's best friend. I wait for him and save his seat. Listen. 'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.'

That's the whole part? -Maybe he's not his best friend.

The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour. It's for the kids. Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy.

But I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world. Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby.

See, I would never snap at you like that. Two babies.

I'm Dr. Monkey!

You are both idiots. It's not funny. And it's offensive to women. And doctors. And monkeys.

Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard. Really? I've heard better.

They say you're high maintenance... but it's okay, because I like... maintaining you.

You know, suddenly I find you very attractive.

Okay.

Pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover? Rach, you're in my seat.

Joey. No way, I'm not answering that.