The One with the Red Sweater

We did not take a bag of Mashuga Nuts from the minibar. And we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little.

Joey's immediate 'No' when asked if he was in their room

I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill.

I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just someone's wife.

Rapid-fire exchange deflating all of Monica's hopeful suggestions

I knew I married you for a reason!

So Ross had never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.

One time, when we were dating, we got a late checkout. He got so excited, it was the best sex we ever had. Until he screamed out 'Radisson' at the end.

32, Joe. You're 32!

Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.

Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga Nut?

Thread. Score!

Then you said, 'Why is it called a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?'

Then you did that, and my Uncle Murray looked at me like:

They're calling out to me. This little guy even crawled up in my lap.

A little mirror that, when you look into it.. you see yourself as an old woman.

A tiny salt shaker! Oh, my God, for tiny salt!

Although, you know, this is part of a salt-and-pepper set. It may just count as only half a present.

Or this one!

He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.

After you, of course.

Then you have his baby. Believe me, I'm trying.

You're like Ed McMahon, except without the big check. Or the raw sexual magnetism.

He's just walking down the street thinking, 'I had sex with Rachel Greene. I rock!' Then, bam! He's a father, everything's different.

What was that 'bam'? I don't know. He's hit by a bus, or something.

Who called here? Did she sound blond? Did she have an accent? I gotta make a call.

Should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut!

Yes, I am. Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby!

Who's David Linn? Some guy from my gym. Little annoying.

That's why I'm under the table, celebrating.

All my energy is going into not asking that question.

Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?

Marriage advice? Really?

I was in charge of the cameras.

Thank God. Because that hair on a baby?

I was walking down the street, thinking, 'I'm gonna tell the father.' And then, bam! Bus?

Oh, mother of..!

Joey, I am out of control! You have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do.. please, do not let me open another present.

Give me one more.

Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

Hey, lady, your day's over. It's my turn.

She's not pregnant. Rachel's the one who's pregnant.

He'd notice when you didn't have a baby in nine months!

Was that story over?

The guy left this. Oh, my God! I know who the father is.

People have got to finish their stories.

Nice aftershave. If you want some, I've got eight mini bottles in my bag.

Your finger was covering the lens. Who are you, Ansel Adams? Get out of here!

I may play the fool at times.. but I'm more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that won't quit.

Let's rip. Are you sure? Phoebe! Okay. Sorry.

A '95 LeSabre? Yes. A green LeSabre? Yes! I'm sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre. Yes, green-blue.

No, this is my red sweater.

Could I get anyone a coffee? Or poison? No? Just for me? Okay.

But you do wear that sweater a lot. Are you involved in some kind of dare?

I'm having a baby.

You can go.

I think it does something to salami.

Wow, you didn't even try to unhook my bra.

Rachel Greene, will you marry me?

What? I proposed to you. It balances out.

Listen, about that, I only offered.. Ooh, a Salami Buddy!

Didn't see that coming.

Call it even?

No, the hotel lobby. They think they can charge me for some dirty movie.. and a bag of Mashuga Nuts, they got another thing coming!

Hey, my sweater! I've been looking for this for, like, a month.

Oh, my God!

So whose is it? I don't know, some Italian guy.

Come on, read your own label. See you later. He is so weird.