The One with the Soap Opera Party

Yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.

I could fall asleep at a play.

To listen to a woman complain for two hours. I don't think it gets bet--

What more do these broads want?

Let's see. Who do I hate?

Physical comedy sequence with dropping things and getting tangled

Because!

Okay, seriously, did not understand a word you just said.

Don and Janet... I know them from work. Both of them? No, just one of them. Which one? I don't know. What were the names I just said?

What the hell are you cooking?

Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.

What? These aren't suede.

No.

If I weren't doing this, I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.

I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.

I wrote that in one night.

Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.

An option that many of my students use.

Oh, damn it!

Stupid Jan Rogers!

God, I'm stupider than Jan Rogers!

I can't believe you guys went for that one.

Please, I was trying to be nice. You're the worst one.

And it's out of my system.

It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.

Oh, it's not over.

You're kind of playing it fast and loose with the word 'interesting.'

I've lost the will to live.

When we exit, should we walk or run or prance or stroll--?

Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast. Okay, let's move!

I saw the article on your coffee table. I memorized the title to freak you out.

And I don't know if you've noticed, but she's a hottie!

Charlie appears right behind Ross

Newcastle disease is a secretion-borne virus that only affects chickens and other poultry.

Well, I would shake your hand, but I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease.

When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.

All right, professor or detective?

No, I arranged that.

Close it up! Close it up!

Oh, yeah, that's what you want. My inhibitions lowered.

Where the hell is everybody?

Oh, man! If I had known I was coming to this party... I never would've gotten married!

Please. Chandler's the love of my life. Oh, leather pants! Have mercy!

Albie.

what regular people experience when they watch Access Hollywood.

What a loser.

I'm gonna blow my average-sized brains out.

I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretended to be a woolly mammoth.

Of course you would! Your brains are smaller than mine!

'Can we walk?'

I don't know. You seem lovely.

Yeah, my character just won a Nobel Prize.

Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs. I'd lead with that.

Are you a little slutty?

It'll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and I don't feel any different.

Me. Because we live together. It's a joke! It's a joke.

But after Chapter 16: Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle... I was uplifted.

So I got it when I was 13. Very difficult.

Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Ph.D.

Stop going through my stuff!

I'm smarter than him!

I can't believe you guys bought that. Enjoy your slow death.