Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

Failure implies that she actually tried to be an actor.

It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.

Oh, thank you! That's my dad, everybody!

That's why we call it 'Charlie work.'

You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!

And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!

You're practically a Vietcong.

We're gonna go America all over their asses!

Oh, dude. This is just an acting gig. Like, I'm not really part of any cause.

Oh, right. Like you know what you're talking about. How old are you? Like, 40?

Before I go America all over your ass!

New Orleans was washed away in that terrible storm.

We want real girls going wild. It's important to see the transition. You want to watch the process.

Well, maybe for a small, fat person. Not for an actor.

It blocks the babies out.

Locking up and maybe throwing up and stuff.

You girls have gone wild! You've gone wild!

Except for the levees.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Segregation! That's segregation!

Sounds like it's coming right out of Stalin's mouth.

I don't know who Stalin is. Who the hell is Stalin?

Alan is just about to bet his wife's glass eye in the next hand.

Goddamn it, Charlie!

You give her a free T-shirt and videotape it, and the clothes come right off.

Can we get a couple glasses of milk?

They bang each other, Dennis. And they bang each other.

It's a free country, bitch.

If Alan loses this hand, he's gonna start chopping off his fingers.

Looks like Jonestown.

Bump it.

Don't tread on me.

I am gonna act the shit out of somebody's ass.

Sweet, Sweet Dee... it's not something you can lose, okay?

She wants to show you her boobies.

There's nothing wrong with us. We're just expressing ourselves. Society has the problem.

The year is 1888. There's a killer on the loose. His name, Jack the Ripper.

Get out of here! Get out of here! If you come to this bar, you're gonna get cancer and die! Attica! Attica!

We gave people too much freedom. That's the problem! All they do is exploit it!

I'm sorry I sent you to jail, man. But any time you wanna stab me, it'd be really great for me.

Fork stabbed!

Nobody messes with the McPoyles!

Whose fault is that, Captain America?