Mac's Big Break

Dennis:Who would want to spend a weekend at a beach house with these idiots?

Mac:Where's the 'H' key? There's no 'H' key!

Mac:I gotta think like that guy that sits on the rock... The Thinker...

Charlie:Oh, the Hulk! The Incredible Hulk!

Mac:Hulk doesn't think at all!

Mac:You guys can't censor me. I'm a bit of a badass.

Mac:This is my chance to finally sow myself into the inner circle.

Dennis:Frank, nobody gives a shit about minutes anymore.

Dennis:Actually, you know what? I do give a shit about minutes. I know I shouldn't and I'm just probably buying into the phone company's propaganda. But there you go.

Frank:Because they got great banter. They jib-jab. Jib-jab, jib-jab, jib-jab.

Dennis:We have voices. We talk about the issues.

Mac:Oh! Zing! Boom-boom!

Frank:Do not speak until I turn my tape over... I taped over my Luther Vandross mix!

Mac:We are not men who get a lot of opportunities, Charlie... We've squandered 'em all.

Mac:All of my instincts and my training tell me to use this as a weapon.

Charlie:You look like a G.I. Joe action figure. Loosen up.

Mac:Bro, when you tack on mass you sacrifice flexibility. That's just a straight-up fact!

Mac:What am I, a gymnast?

Charlie:like a tiny bowl of cream you don't want to spill

Mac:Otherwise I go out there, I look like a jabroni.

Mac:Gliding like a jabroni is what I'm gonna be doing.

Frank:What the hell is a podcast? Why don't you just tape it?

Dennis:So, Dennis and Dee Reynolds here. Inaugural podcast. We're talking technology today. The big 'T.'

Dennis:Dead air! Could you ease up on the crackers?

Cricket:It's from when Frank hit me with the trash can. Wound got infected. It was a whole ordeal.

Frank:I lied about the chicken, Crick.

Frank:Lemons? You suck on 'em.

Cricket:I wake up, I find a dog sniffin' at my wound. He's fully aroused, mind you.

Cricket:Does my scar look like a dog's vagina?

Cricket:Not since that Chinaman stole my kidney.

Dee:A dog banged your neck the other day!

Charlie:U.S.A! U.S.A!

Mac:Not like that. Make it classy.

Mac:Next thing you know, I'm wearing a wig for the rest of my life just to keep up appearances. Yeah, like Andre Agassi, huh?

Mac:All right, well, that would have been cool if I was standing backwards.

Only a couple of jabronis come out here without skates on.

Mac:I think it's some dago word, but it sounds like a hockey word.

Dennis:That was a duck. Why would you make a duck noise right in the middle of my thing?

Dee:I thought I'd up the production value, add some sound effects.

Frank:How 'bout if we talk about how you used to bang each other?

Charlie:Do you not know how to ice skate?

Mac:No, not at all.

Mac:But I figured you would teach me, 'cause we got plenty of time.

Charlie:We don't have time! It's tomorrow night, man!

Frank:You're gonna pay me $500 to drink soup out of a shoe. And take your top off.

Waitress:Fine. I'll do it. But I am not taking my top off.

Cricket:Couldn't find soup, but I found some dirty dishwater.

Mac:The future of radio, you jabronis.

Radio Host:Jabronis. Cool word.

Charlie:No. You fell on your face almost immediately, man.

Charlie:Who took the shot?

Charlie:I took the shot.

Charlie:Yeah, I missed wide right by, like, a mile.

Charlie:Look on the bright side, dude. I think you're gonna be a sports celebrity after all... 'cause they're definitely gonna play that shit on ESPN.