How A Bill Becomes A Law

Yes. I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Occupied!

I think it is crazy that the most junior city councilor gets a private bathroom just because she is a girl.

I'm going to drop my liquids in here, take my solids down the hall. Deal?

How?

You can't share too much or too often.

That's too much, Jerry. For real. Keep us out your bedroom.

Thank you, Andy. I agree.

You're welcome, Chris.

I sound insane. I'm going to go talk to my therapist.

Well, that's your opinion.

Because not only am I a city councilor. I'm a city councilor with porpoise.

We came in fourth in the County swim meet last year.

Porpoise call! [awkward silence]

I'm not weird. Okay, everybody leave.

And writing Star Trek fan fiction does not count.

I... finished it last week.

Dude, 30 years from now, when you're on your deathbed, what are you going to remember? Organizing files or taking a spontaneous road trip to surprise Leslie?

We'll jam out to some sweet tunage.

Actually, no. I don't want to go any more. / Just kidding. / We're not going. / Road trip! / So we're going? / Yes!

She's like the little sister I never had. Because the little sister I do have is normal and not terrifying.

Government is inefficient and should be dissolved. Please hold while I transfer you.

Well, how do I get I.T. Here? / Call 311.

Andrew, get your lunch, some water, and a 40-pound bag of asphalt. / Hey!

No, no. This is 311. / Donna, they switched my phone with 911.

Living in this town's like living in the devil's butt crack.

My God, that is so interesting to me because I'm a map salesman.

Why aren't we moving? / Because. Other cars.

It's because the two leading industries here are corn syrup and rubber nipples. It is a dentistry jackpot.

Well, D.D.S. Doesn't stand for 'dumb, dumb, stupid.'

Not my initials, but thank you so much.

So when the Ann's away, the mice get perms.

The perm must wait, Autumn! The perm must wait.

Yeah, I know how to do math, Mason.

You know, screw Jamm. Screw Jamm.

I don't know how to answer that.

we do humbly request thine permission to befix doth holes yonder.

Well, uh, I kind of look at it like it's your favorite directors making a mix tape just for you.

Benji's Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix

Don't judge me.

I've eaten the same lunch for 58 years. Caesar salad, extra dressing, extra croutons, and extra anchovies.

Their platform? 'De-integrate Baseball.'

You can really taste the ignorance. / It's pronounced 'anchovies.'

Seaweed choke! / That large boy is my colleague.

Tim, Mary, Jack, uh, Tim, Marie, Tim, and Mary. / Don't forget about Tim. / Right, Tim. / You know, it's very hard to tell.

What country is he from? / Iceland.

Data had never felt this way before. Of course, data had never felt anything before. But Captain Picard couldn't help but note the smile that crept over his mechanical but lifelike face.

I'm gonna murder you.

Right? / So, how exactly are you gonna fix this hole? Just for my own edification.

♪ Ron and Diane sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i.

I've got Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

you can put your butt back in your pants, sir.

Or does it require two princesses?

You remind me of a young, beautiful Strom Thurmond.

She tried to kiss me. / She was insatiable.

You're missing the backs of your upper canines. Sloppy technique.

I do not negotiate with dentists.

I'm sorry, it's just... your face is ridiculous.

We're out of gas.

Can't wait to drop my kids at the pool. By 'kids,' I mean turds.

Lay the mother on her side and try to move the baby in a corkscrew fashion.

'A,' I don't recall inviting you in here, and 'B,' I did not like her.

See how it feels?

Is that a euphemism? / No. / Then great work.

I'm a middle school vice-principal. I don't screw around. Does that freak you out?

No need to wear makeup.

Because it's fun in the sun!

No, my perm.

And the Tommy Haverford member's chair.

I do not like this.