Gin It Up!

Ben, your heart's in the right place. Your heart and your butt.

Crap on a turd!

I'm Leslie Knope. Tell your parents to recall me.

Why don't you just put the 'Don't' in front of 'Recall Knope'? Yep, that's a much better idea.

Can I have these question mark stickers? Why? I want to put them on stop signs. April, no!

Oh, we have a new policy. Parks can only be reserved for witch covens or slip-and-slide competitions.

Which one are you? Uh, slip-and-slide competition. Seriously? No.

Why would you even compete in something like that? It doesn't matter.

Tom, this witch wants to reserve a park for her satanic ritual.

Right. Smashing. Uh, yes, I'm Thomas Haverford. I sort of run the whole department.

Brilliant. The old 'D's without 'B's. Uh, we can definitely help. Yeah, Tom's your guy. He actually used to run the Parks Department in his home country of Russia.

This one is mental. She's joking, obviously. How could I be from Russia? Not with this spot-on British accent.

Whoa. I am pretty sure you shouldn't have a weapon at work. Literally everything is a weapon, son. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow in yours.

Oh, that's... probably true.

You need that many pages to say, 'Give my stuff to my wife'?

Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me.

What are these weird symbols? The man who kills me will know.

The three most useless jobs in the world are, in order, lawyer, congressman, and doctor.

Where is this lawyer you speak of?

All right, well, uh, motion to end this session early so nothing can get done. Second. Gahhh, you guys are the worst!

Sorry, Knope. We're just looking for any possible way to get you recalled because we don't like you. It's nothing personal. It absolutely is personal. That is the definition of 'personal.'

'The definition of personal.'

See you tonight. Hope you like tongue baths, you big, nasty fireman.

Then there's a picture of a pair of lips and then a picture of an eggplant. I'm both confused, and if we're being totally honest, a little aroused.

Not to give you too much of a peek into my personal life, but this could have been way worse.

Tongue baths? Eggplants? Firemen? Those men are heroes who deserve respect! 9/11!

This will be blown way out of proportion! You have my word on it!

Guard your buds, 'cause they're about to get nipped!

Pawnee is like a petri dish of weird diseases. Did you know you have a higher rate of the West Nile virus than the actual Western Nile?

Sorry, West Nile, looks like Pawnee wins again. What else have you beaten the Western Nile in? Cricket. Uh...

just fill out these forms, and we will be all set like two biscuits inside a tin.

I mean, obviously, accountants are a little more bad boy, but, uh, there's a respect there.

I've been talking to Ron about estate planning, and he is here to do some 'Good Will Hunting.' Because he has to draw up a new will, so--

Yes, I understood, Mr. Wyatt. Thank you. As I've said before, I just don't like puns.

Oh, come on, Trevor. Where there's a 'Will,' there's a way.

I'm gonna say this one last time, Wyatt. Check the accountant crap at the door. Yes, sir, I will. Unintentional.

Well, it's actually quite simple. Uh, a Parks and Rec employee forgot to log out of the Parks and Rec Twitter account, they posted a personal, of the Parks and Rec private message by accident

Alright, sadly, due to your 'intracksidence'-- Not a word.

When I was four, I thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows, and then I flip-flopped when I found out that there was something called chocolate syrup.

I don't think I'm out of line when I say that this scandal makes Benghazi look like whitewater! It's utterly meaningless.

Perhaps he or she-- Or them. It could be a bunch of hot ladies.

What happened to your accent? Oh, yeah. It's gone. Huh. You know, I had a cold recently. I think that may have affected my voice, like, in certain British ways.

You have a cold? Can I feel your glands? Sure. Wow, you are wearing a lot of moisturizer on your throat. Best way to prevent crow's neck.

Is this glitter?

I am in love with Nadia Whatever-her-last-name-is, and I'm gonna keep her here, using the most powerful weapon I have-- bureaucratic incompetence.

Oh, no. You filled out Form 3208. You were supposed to fill out Form 3248. Oh, God. This is to lease a hangar at the airport.

Someone left out a blender, fresh fruits, and rum? I guess we gotta, like, make Daiquiris now. I like to have music on while I work, you know?

In a shocking twist to an already juicy story, we have obtained access to Ms. Meagle's account, via a third party. Same hairdresser.

Damn it, Typhoon! Why'd you do this? Maybe if you had bothered to come to my Great Gatsby Brunch, you'd know.

Holy fuck.

Is this a joke? Another word for 'jokes' is 'lies.' I do not lie. Therefore, I do not joke.

I was right not to be threatened by you.

Annoying-ass Leslie has given me another annoying-ass task. ♪stickers, ♪bitchboss.

Twitter poll: On a scale of 98 to 100, how annoying is Leslie Knope? Cuz u know it ain't less than 98. All my #trueblood fans know what's up.

Leslie, sometimes you're kind of annoying. I mean, I thought that was your thing. My thing? My thing is not being annoying.

My things are making friendship bracelets and dancing like nobody's watching, thinking up really cool nicknames for my friends. You of all people should know that, El Diablo!

I think that you ask a lot of the people that you work with, and I think that people do what you ask because they love you. But, I also think that driving people as hard as you do can ruffle some feathers. I think a lot of things. I like thinking. And racquetball.

It appears, whereas 'bitch boss' is clearly an indication of her frustration, 'boss bitch' is a term of endearment. Isn't language fun? It's like racquetball for your mouth!

What did you name your imaginary airline? 'Jet Blue Ivy.' I figure Jay-Z and Beyonce's kid will own her own airline eventually.

Maybe I can drive you around and we'll pick another one? Maybe I'll bring a picnic lunch. Do you like tamales?

I probably shouldn't say this, as a doctor. It's probably not cool. But I really hope you all get West Nile virus.

Oh, you're joking. Yes, son, I am. First joke ever. Don't care for it.

I will leave my children $50 apiece for the cab home from my funeral and a steak dinner, end of discussion.

I'd never lose to a boar.

Wow, 5 whole percent. So, I guess you are gonna teach them a lesson. Oh, my God, that's 5%? That is a lot of money.

Ron, I'm-- I'm incredibly flattered. Ralph Piatkowski and his wife Helen. He's the Maitre D' at Mulligan's Steakhouse, and he knows me better than anyone.

How dare you demean the value of the political points I'm scoring?

Tom wants me to tell you that all the screw-ups were my fault, but really, he kept messing up so that you would stay in Pawnee as long as possible because he is super into you.

I'm just trying to figure out if acting that insane is, like, romantic, or totally scary. I'll go with romantic.

He's sweet, he's cool, and you're, like, way out of his league, so there's literally no risk for you at all here.