The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 2)

And, by the way, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself...and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Um, this is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please...if it's not too much trouble, please...um, might I speak with Miss Emily Waltham, please?

And it is not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.

So give me that number or I'll come over there...and I'll kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloukenshire!

Ooh, she knew I could kick her ass.

That's what they call the subway. Oh! I thought... Dad, we got it.

She's self-involved. I should never have married her.

Sorry, what? - It's the Gellers. - Where? - That's one and that's another one.

A joke that's funny in all countries.

That's not food. No, I don't want it. Everything's different here. I want to go home.

I miss my family, the coffeehouse. I can't remember what Phoebe looks like!

Joey, it's been three days. [MOUTHS] Oh.

You're different here too. You're mean in England!

Flowers, liquor. Re-carpet first floor? New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this house.

Ooh, Jack. Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. [BOTH MOAN]

And I'll go get drunk.

The last-minute fare on this ticket is $2700. Ugh. I don't have enough left on my credit card. You can split it with another card. Okay, how about five?

I don't have it, but I can tell you where it is on my nightstand. You know what? I have my driver's license. And I have a 20.

Face it, my father is not gonna pay for the built-in barbecue. And believe me, you can kiss your gazebo goodbye.

I go back there with lawn ornaments, he'll laugh in my face.

Will you say something, Steven? Don't take that tone with me. All right, you can.

Why am I always pregnant when she does that?

This is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will.

I thought things would work out until he over-inflated her. [CHUCKLES] Oh, dear God!

Um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.

Am I on the radio?

To think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Oh, come on, Monty Hall! Let's Make a Deal. Come on, you people!

Home. New York City. Where everybody knows my name.

But not as much as I love America. Can we please go home now?

I was laughing. Out loud? I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.

My God! You must have been a teenager when you had him.

Fine, but I'm not paying for your wine cellar...you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us man!

Earlier, he thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.

Please! I'm a single mom with a 30-year-old son.

I'm getting married today! Whoo! Heh. Morning. I'm getting married today! Yeah, you are. Woo-hoo!

Do you think he knew I was here?

Stupid. Hmm. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Oh, yeah, definitely.

Could you not look? I don't want to look.

If you're planning on doing that the entire flight...please tell me now so that I can take a sedative. Or maybe slip you one.

It's just, I'm, uh, kind of excited. I'm, um, going to London to, uh, tell this guy that I love him.

I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is... I don't want to hear it!

Aw, Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl.

I've done my part, okay? It's your responsibility now. The burden is off me. Right. So tell me about this girl.

I'm not seeing Monica. What? What?

What's with the third degree? Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?

I just want to say that you are a horrible, horrible person.

I have to agree with your friend Pheebs. This is a terrible, terrible plan.

By the way, it seems to be clear you were on a break.

I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good. Ha! I just hope... You can let some go by.

You know, uh...sometimes I don't even like Chandler.

Talk New York to me again. Forget about it. How you doing?

We're not paying for your wine cellar. You have to meet me in the middle. My foot will meet the middle of your ass.

From now on, everyone gets along. And if I hear one more word...no grandchildren! That's right!

I could kill you with my thumb, you know.

Oh! You can't see me before the wedding. It's bad luck. I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have.

I just came to... I just needed to tell you...congratulations.

Did you stop Rachel? But she just hugged him. That's it. Nothing got ruined? No. Oh, that's so great!

Still walking.

It's Phoebe! He looks pretty mad.

What we did last night was... Stupid. Hmm. Totally crazy, stupid. What were we thinking? I'm coming over tonight though, right? Oh, yeah, definitely.

Take thee, Rachel... Emily!

Shall I go on?