The One with the Holiday Armadillo

Skull? Yeah, it's my mom's. Oh, my God! No, no, no. It's not my mom. It belonged to my mom.

She used to put it out every Christmas to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die.

And you can put candy in it.

And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die. You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.

Did you know he was in there? No. How long have we been home? About half an hour.

'Bing' is weird. Yeah, I know what you mean. Gellar!

Why do you think she's having so much fun living with Joey? No reason, except she told me.

Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself. No, the funeral director probably won't hit on you. Yeah, that nice couple probably will adopt you.

History teaches us nothing.

'Bing' doesn't seem so weird now, does it?

Drums? No, drums!

I'm sorry. But not that sorry, because you don't have to live with it.

Is this because of the burrito thing?

All right, calm down, O'Malley.

Had the money in the wrong hand.

Christmas Eve.

Santa has reindeers that can fly.

Okay, it's not a contest.

Was I bad? No. Oh, no, no. Hey, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben. Santa's mad at me.

Will you keep it at Mommy's? Okay. Then sure!

I didn't say 'die.' I said 'cry.'

We'd be eating our soup right now. Mustached bastard.

Tequila!

Definitely not easier with coins.

why not get him something more subtle like a wrecking ball or a vial of smallpox to release in the hallway?

Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!

What is rock 'n' roll about that?

It's a tarantula!

giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?

I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it died because my cat ate it. And then my cat died.

Is it on me? I feel like it's on me.

You might as well have just gotten him a fish. You know how fish freak me out.

I remember paying for the window, but I don't remember how it broke.

No, these are my pants.

I do have 74 of them coming back on the 26th.

I'm the Holiday Armadillo!

What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?

Texas? That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!

Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?

You want to wander in the hall?

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Santa!

What are you doing here, Weird Turtle Man?

I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend.

Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren't so damn small.

There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.

But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.

if Santa and the Holiday Armadillo are ever in the same room for too long, the universe will implode!

No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa.

Fine, I give up. Santa can stay!

Merry Christmas!

There's a skylight?

Starting to feel her again there, are we?

You heard it too? You have the gift.

She said that since you get to keep the one-bedroom apartment, you should give Rachel the purple chair. No, I do not hear that.

She didn't say 'chair,' she said 'share.' You should share the one-bedroom apartment. Oh, the purple chair. No, yeah, I heard that.

My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.

The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part.

Why is Santa kissing Aunt Monica?

Because Aunt Monica was very, very good this year.

Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here.

I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?

Joey, will you just come out here and stop being such a baby!