The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work

You're gonna get me good and pregnant.

Well, I just lost my erection.

Hey, this is where your hyper-organized pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off.

My erection is back!

Thank you. Phoebe, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?

That's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.

Yeah, right, the unemployed piano player who gave his trust fund to charity? I'm splitting the muffin with him.

Really? No, it is awesome.

Because if one more person says, 'What a cute little boy'... I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna.

Yeah, she's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?

You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Now I'll get to use my shredder!

Cheese. It's milk that you chew.

Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.

A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth?

Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best.

The phone. Bringing you closer to people who have phones.

Marriage. It's not for everybody.

Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.

Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? I'm the hell person whose office this is. Good one, Rach.

Your baby's so cute. But why would you put a pink bow on a boy?

Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras.

All right, eight.

Bagels and doughnuts. Round food for every mood.

That's funny. When you said 'unpaid,' it sounded like you said 'unpaid.'

Well, I can skip a couple of steps, right? I mean, you did hear my round food thing.

I tend to keep talking till somebody stops me.

A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve... something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.

Clearly, you've never been to Sandals Paradise Island.

Rach, we have a code brown situation.

And what department was that? The jerk department?

Well, did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue?

Super ass-kissing power.

See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening.

I ran out of diapers, and I had to use your sweater. I didn't bring a sweater. Then, we should really go.

So he said, 'If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together... I am gonna fire her mother-puppy ass.'

She's Nurse With Tray. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey. She has no time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor... because if she doesn't, people die. Who dies? Man With Eye Patch!

Hey, you know what I was thinking? I don't know if 'code brown' is the best code word. I think people might know what we're talking about.

All right, calm down, Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that.

Absolutely. Just give me your breasts, and we'll be on our way.

Ross. You're pretty.

Yeah. Goodbye.

Didn't see you there, Geller.

Let me put it this way: We're having sex whether you're here or not. Pants off, Bing.

Hey, they were popular when I left.

Of course, by that time, ties will be obsolete... and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits.

What? You faked it? You know what? I don't need a tie.

Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now, suddenly, I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans.

Sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay. Well, maybe you are a nurse... but you moonlight as a waitress. Because I'm a single mother supporting my two children.

No. No, see, you and Drake are having a fight. About what? He slept with you... Best sex you ever had, by the way. And then never called you. And I just wanted a new daddy for Davey and Becky.

What are you doing? I'm very angry at him because he slept with me and never called me back. Me too. Me too!

But I love that man. I'd follow him into hell. Microphones.

No one will remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter... and Super Gavin will just fly right alongside of him.

Because you worked really hard, and it's your job. And you're a little crazy.

Listen, Phoebe. I was just talking to the director... How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald.

What? I'm so good in the scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Rise to the challenge, Tribbiani, because I just raised the bar. Come join me up here.

Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security. She won't go easy.

Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises. Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours.

Pants. Like shorts but longer.

What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer... and messes up all the ribbons? What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer... because the baby's stuff takes up all the space? Where will all the ribbons go?

I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder. I don't care if you are my brother. I'm not your brother. What about my children, Drake? No! No! No!