The One with Rachel's Book

My hand feels weird. I guess it's because I'm engaged!

When will that start getting annoying? Start?

I have thoughts on the music. Too many cooks...

Take it from me. All you have to do is show up and say the right name.

Break it off. Break it off, now.

That conclusively proves that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first.

Yeah, it is. My movie starts in five minutes.

Does anyone want to come to the movie?

Wait, that was for my 6th grade wedding.

Derek is a name I shouldn't know.

Well, he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up.

Oh, my God, it's like one mind.

Yes, it is perfectly good and it is not one of the places the duck got sick.

I don't know, but he did not eat your face cream.

Pillowcases!

This is a dirty book!

I don't want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle... Beer, cold beer.

Sweeping. Why? Does it turn you on?

What if I was sweeping a chimney?

Where did you learn that word? Where do you think... Zelda?

I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have, but you got porn!

You got porn.

I still don't know how. You don't know how? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.

At least you're not hearing it at your 5th grade Halloween party. They wanted a scary story.

We have it. Only now we call it 'the beach house.'

So you've had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that.

Then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.

It was Chandler. We didn't think he'd propose.

It seemed like such a simple idea. Stupid. The word is 'stupid.'

I'm going to touch you.

Saving the rest for her divorce.

Dollywood.

My God, what did you order?

You can wear off-the-rack.

Do you even understand what 'off-the-rack' means?

Chandler's pause when asked how much money he has

Wow! Hello, Mr. Chandler.

Money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get onboard with.

You know what? It's probably just your burning loins.

Do you mind if I heat this on your loins?

I wore out my first copy when I was with you.

Well, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines.

But I did give him acupressure with a pair of chopsticks and I gently exfoliated him with a mop.

You could've not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back. He said he liked that!

So we only have two kids. We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.

We'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.

When you were talking about our future, you said cat. But you meant dog, right?

Do you even know what a vicar is? Like a goalie, right?

Maybe I could make it up to you by taking you roughly in the barn.

I been waiting for so long to get on that body.

But I'd keep that helmet on, because you're in for a rough ride.

I don't want to. I'm scared.