The One in Barbados (Part 1)

That's right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.

These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.

Do you have anything that will get us out of them?

He's been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight.. he'll die.

It's a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility.

I know. There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.

I think I've been recognized.

That never happens.

Sarah. I dig you.

You probably recognize me from a little show called The Days of Our Lives.

Dude, it's just Days of Our Lives. There's no 'the.'

What's all your furniture pointed at?

Well, didn't you two come to the right convention.

Yeah. That's the same as, 'It has something to do with wind.'

Mike? Who's Mike?

That's a blast from the past, huh?

Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.

Well, at least you took me down with you.

Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.

See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey.. for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.

Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? - Because his penis was too big.

I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.

Well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding, but..

I didn't mean a thong. I meant thongs.

You really should have been more clear about that.

Britney Spears! Yeah. She never misses these conferences.

You could say, 'Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?'

You got yourself a very weird deal.

I wasn't gonna swim. I was gonna dig a hole.

you are pink with barely controlled glee.

A penis one!

Everything is upside-down here. It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.

Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.

That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.

I was just lusting after Chandler.

That's one-seventieth of a carat. And the clarity is quite poor.

Are you leaving the Supremes?

I can just see it. 'Mike, do you take Phoebe?' You know? It's every girl's dream.

Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna.

checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.

I mean, when I signed up for dino week.. nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.

Secret teapot.

Well, it didn't say, 'This is a virus.'

Nude.. Pictures of Anna Kournikova.

Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She's never even won a major tournament.

Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but..

I can usually make it go away by kissing her.

I don't think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now.

Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?

I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair!

And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in the humidity?

No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle.. the thing that you meddled up in the first place!

Kate Miller it is. And that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.

I know, I know. I tell you. But on the plus side, we get to wear those white coats.. and stand behind that really tall counter.

And it's The Days of Our Lives.

Well, I play the handsome, macho pharmacist.. and Rachel is my student.. who wants to learn all about.. pharmacing.

My nudity in the film is not tasteful at all.

Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.

Oh, my God, I love you.

Actually, it's not that complicated.

Hey! High-five!

'Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife's gay.'

Not enough pills in the world, Rach.

No, I'm not blushing.. and I'm sunburned. From, you know, the rain.

or Canadian.

It's the humidity!

Actually, yeah, that'd be great.

If it stops raining.

I wouldn't brag about that, big guy.

It was a good trip.

Hey! Remember when I had corneas?

Not to mention Coldsaurus.

He said 'erectus.'

Okay, now we're just holding hands.

Look, I took it too far.

Not you guys. You've got it going on.

I punched you. And? Phoebe. And? I clunked your heads together.

This scar? That's from Pictionary.

Oh, dear God, there's two of them.

Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.

He was a lawyer.

Weather bitch.

Man, smart people are dull.

Curious George! You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat. He had a paper route.

This is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.

I sleep with him!

Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?

just nifty.

Well, get out!

I knew that was him!

Mike, you win this, you will get the best sex you've ever had in your whole life.

Well, this is my sickness!

You suck. You're welcome, sweetheart.

It's like watching porn.

That's why.

You know, we, as a group, are not the coolest.